Mr. Beast Pays Royalties To Ḥoni The Circle-Maker

Ḥoni attracted criticism for his confrontational, almost embarrassing, encounter with God, but his critics conceded that his “familial” position in the divine “household” had helped them. Mr. Beast, too, has faced criticism for some of his philanthropic efforts.

Greensboro, February 14 – The word’s most popular YouTube celebrity agreed to reimburse an ancient Jewish folklore figure today, following revelations that one of the internet sensation’s repeated gimmicks bears suspicious resemblance to the ancient man’s negotiating tactic in confrontation with God over a drought, sources close to the celebrity reported today.

Jimmy Donaldson, who started several YouTube channels under the Mr. Beast name, disclosed Tuesday that he will pay an undisclosed amount to the estate of Ḥoni the Circle-Maker, who, the Talmud records, refused to leave a circle he’d drawn on the ground until the Almighty relented and sent nourishing rain that until that point had not fallen in the Land of Israel. Mr. Donaldson acknowledged the conceptual debt one of his most famous contests owes to Ḥoni, and came to an agreement this weekend with the ancient Judean’s descendants over how much constitutes a fair share of the ad and other sponsorship revenue accruing to the various Mr. Beast channels as a direct and indirect consequence of the who-ever-stays-in-the-circle-the-longest-gets-$10K game and related competitions.

The Babylonian Talmud in Tractate Ta’anit relates that the people came to Ḥoni, known as a righteous man and for his intimate rapport with God, to intercede on their behalf during an extended drought. Winter marks the rainy season in the land of Israel, but that year, little or no precipitation had fallen, threatening the people with both thirst and starvation. Ḥoni drew a circle in the dirt around him and declared to God, “I will not leave this circle until You send rain.”

A light rain began to fall. The people warned Ḥoni that it looked like God as looking for a technical way out, whereupon the man specifically asked for harder rain. A downpour began, and did not let up – posing the risk of flooding and other dangers. The people begged him to ask for the rain to stop, but Ḥoni admonished them that we do not ask for blessing to be withheld. Nevertheless, he instructed them, they should bring an offering in the Temple and he would pray further.

Ḥoni articulated the dilemma in further communication with the divine, expressing both gratitude for the rainfall and supplication that it promote life and growth, not destruction. The rains ceased; the people immediately began to gather mushrooms that had appeared in its aftermath. Ḥoni attracted criticism for his confrontational, almost embarrassing, encounter with God, but his critics conceded that his “familial” position in the divine “household” had helped them. Mr. Beast, too, has faced criticism for some of his philanthropic efforts, most recently sponsoring cataract surgery for thousands of people; critics accused him of seeking publicity through the work instead of simply donating the funds. His critics have also conceded that they, by contrast, are not paying for blind people to see, so they should probably shut up.

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