My Incitement Focuses On Jews, So At Least My Twitter Account Is Safe

by Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, Supreme Leader, Islamic Republic of Iran

Tehran, January 13 – Recent uproar over the harsh response to US President Donald Trump’s lifetime banishment from social media giant Twitter has called attention to the tech company’s alleged laxity in enforcing its standards elsewhere, leading numerous concerned parties to challenge the firm on why the government of China, for example, may maintain a Twitter presence despite that regime’s genocidal policies and flagrant false propaganda. I, however, need not worry that my ongoing calls for the destruction of an entire nation-state will result in any such action affecting my account, because that nation-state is merely a Jewish one.

Twitter’s principal rationale for banning Trump involved his use of the platform to encourage supporters in their demonstrations on behalf of his claim that his loss in the November elections resulted from fraud, many of whom resorted to violence. The social media backlash against him, and then against conservative voices in general, soon spread to other social media platforms, to the point that the conservative-heavy alternative to Twitter called Parler found itself without the basic services such a company needs to function. But none of that need concern me; I focus only on calling for the indiscriminate murder of millions of Jews, and Twitter is fine with that. It’s just Jews, and wanting them to suffer and die is as old the hills.

This does not mean I don’t call for the violent deaths on non-Jews; my call for the destruction of the Zionist Entity all but presumes the collateral damage of up to two million Muslim deaths in the process; our ambitions toward acquiring atomic weapons and ballistic missile technology do not extend to developing a weapon that would only kill Jews. Moreover, our hegemonic ambitions for the region have directly involved the ethnic cleansing and massacres of Syrians, Iraqis, Yemenis, and whoever else happens to live in our way. Also we shoot down Russian airliners in a hissy fit over the assassination of the guy in charge of all that ethnic cleansing, but, you know, side quests.

But I digress. I digress on Twitter, as well, often going as many as three tweets in a row without threatening to destroy Israel in some way or predicting its imminent demise. But it always comes back to that, and that is why I feel secure on that platform, even though half my tweets violate their standards in ways Trump couldn’t even approach. It’s the consistency that matters.

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