Near-Total Overlap Of Antisemitism And Anti-Zionism Just A Coincidence

Anti-Zionists-not-antisemites voiced gratification at the publication of the study.

London, February 11 – Researchers have determined that the uncanny correlation between hatred for Jews and opposition to Israel constitutes a statistical fluke, a recent study reports, cautioning that observers ought not to draw unwarranted conclusions from the close association that means nothing.

A comparative study of the rhetoric and behavior of people who claim only to oppose the Jewish State and of the rhetoric and behavior of outspoken antisemites revealed a 98% overlap in the composition and content of the two groups, which study authors warned does not indicate any inherent relationship between them, since, as every student of elementary statistics knows, correlation does not imply causation. Instead, the researchers advise the public to note the overlap as a curiosity and then return to the everyday work of explaining how opposing the existence of the world’s only Jewish country, established as a refuge from thousands of years of persecution, does not qualify as antisemitism.

“We can understand why a facile interpretation of these numbers would lead a person to the conclusion that the two phenomena are in some way related,” the authors wrote. “But that fails to take into account all the protestations by self-proclaimed anti-Zionists that they do not in fact harbor ill will toward Jews; they just want them to remain at the mercy of the world’s often-hostile majority, with a soupçon of human rights verbiage thrown in. We therefore urge people not to misinterpret the near-perfect correlation as anything but an interesting quirk.”

Anti-Zionists-not-antisemites voiced gratification at the publication of the study. “I’ve been saying this all along,” declared Ali Abunimah, who runs the totally objective news site Electronic Intifada. “The fact that we who are opposed to Israel say the same things as Nazis, neo-Nazis, Klansmen, genocidal terrorists, and other, uh, activists doesn’t mean we hate Jews. You see, we say ‘Zionists’ whenever we remember to make the distinction, instead of Jews, which is a completely different thing. But the Jew-owned media doesn’t deal in subtleties such as that, so we get misrepresented all the time.”

Study authors appeared untroubled by the use of classic anti-Jewish tropes repurposed for anti-Israel agitation. “You can’t go around making a big deal of every little time someone reacts to Israeli actions by saying, ‘Hitler should have finished the job,'” explained co-author Merejy Cobryn. “And it’s especially galling to see a leading British politician who spent his whole life working for peace depicted as an ally of antisemites just because he calls them his friends and spouts their propaganda. But if you just look at (((who’s))) behind the distortions you’ll understand what’s going on.”

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