Netanya Man Claims He Just ‘Found’ Russian Anti-Aircraft Vehicle He’s Driving Around

Witnesses observed Cherniak driving the vehicle to the grocery store and back, forced to take a roundabout route because of a traffic signal that hung too low to allow the vehicle passage with its missile rack elevated to operational height.

Credit: Vitaly V. Kuzmin via Wikipedia

Netanya, March 1 – A resident of this coastal Mediterranean city who recently returned from a visit to some family in Ukraine has encountered difficulty in explaining how he came into possession of a large piece of mobile military equipment bearing the characteristic “Z” painted on the side marking the invasion force Putin dispatched to that country.

Boris Cherniak, 44, insisted today that the 9K330 Tor self-propelled, surface-to-air missile system he has spent the last day navigating about his neighborhood just appeared in his parking spot in front of his apartment building, and that a flyer he posted on a lamppost at the nearest intersection had yielded no claims of ownership.

“It, uh, it was there when I woke up yesterday,” explained the father of three, who immigrated to Israel from Ukraine when he was a teenager. “I just got back from seeing some relatives in Kharkiv a couple of days ago. Got out of there in the nick of time, too. You should see how the Russian soldiers are just abandoning their equipment! Farmers are just towing it away with their tractors, and Ukrainian Tik Tok personalities are giving online tutorials how to drive them! Anyway, yeah, it just materialized here overnight.”

“No one seems to know whose it is, and it doesn’t have a registration plate- not an Israeli one, anyway,” he continued, his eyes scanning the sky as if for lurking drones. “I figured, it needs to be kept in good working order, if or when the owner eventually does come forward, you know? So I took it for a spin or two, just to see if it had any mechanical issues I could address, or whatever.” Witnesses observed Cherniak driving the vehicle to the grocery store and back, forced to take a roundabout route because of a traffic signal that hung too low to allow the vehicle passage with its missile rack elevated to operational height.

Neighbors have so far refrained from complaining to Cherniak over the excess space the vehicle occupied in the building’s shared lot. “If he starts keeping the SA-15 missiles for it in my spot, I’ll probably say something,” stated Batsheva Weiss, whose reserved space sits adjacent to his. “So far, though, that hasn’t happened. But if it becomes necessary, I’m sure he’ll be a gentleman about it. It’s not as if people equipped with such things have a record of occupying other people’s space.”

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