Netanyahu, Britain To Trade Yair For Prince Harry

Each family will rid itself of a public relations nuisance, and gain an estranged member with whom they share nothing but a sense of entitlement.

Jerusalem, April 17 – Sources close to the family of Israel’s prime minister confirmed rumors today that he has reached an agreement in principle with the royal family of the United Kingdom to exchange problematic man-child offspring, with the House of Windsor receiving outspoken racist Yair Netanyahu and the Netanyahu family receiving Prince Harry.

Aides to Binyamin Netanyahu who declined to be identified for this story disclosed that the deal has been under negotiation for at least two years, though informal proposals along similar general lines have been floated for more than a decade. The aides explained that each family will rid itself of a public relations nuisance, and gain an estranged member with whom they share nothing but a sense of entitlement and growing public questioning of the purpose of their existence.

Rumors circulated all last week that the loudmouthed – at least on social media – Yair Netanyahu had sparked a bitter argument with his father over troublesome content the junior Netanyahu had posted, and not for the first time. The rumors further alleged that Yair had been “exiled” to the US, where his online antics and troglodytic political views will raise fewer eyebrows and garner less embarrassment.

Duke of Sussex Harry – the reports were vague on whether his wife Duchess Meghan Markle is included in the trade – has prompted distaste in his own family and society over indelicate rhetoric of his own, including hushed-up episodes of play-acting as a Nazi, among other indiscretions. The drama of his relationship with the American actress Markle long remained a staple of tabloid coverage, in particular the tensions between him and the rest of the family, including his late grandmother Queen Elizabeth II, surrounding the couple’s rhetoric, entitlement, and mishandling of life in the public eye.

Both the Netanyahu and Windsor families have so far declined to offer comment on the reported trade. Public institutions throughout the British Commonwealth, which share the royal family as their sovereign heads of state, have voiced concern that Yair Netanyahu is ill-suited to the public functions expected of a prince, even one too far down the line of succession to have any reasonable ambitions of sitting on the throne one day. Others have countered that Harry himself is ill-suited to the task into which he was born and raised.

Netanyahu aides were silent on what role Harry, with or without Meghan, will play in the public or private lives of the closest thing Israel has to a royal family, at least in terms of embarrassing antics.

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