New Book Tells All About Time-Traveling Bodyguard Of Baby Hitler

“No one ever stopped to consider other ways of preventing the Holocaust, such as preventing Hitler’s parents from meeting, or arranging his acceptance to art school.”

Tel Aviv, January 24 – Publishing house Kinneret-Zmora-Bitan announced today it has secured the rights to the autobiography of a man who served as protector of the young Adolph Hitler, identifying and neutralizing other time travelers set on assassinating the future dictator in his childhood, thus keeping them from derailing history.

A spokeswoman for the publishing house told reporters that the heirs of now-deceased Gunther Müller had signed an agreement to have the company translate and publish his memoirs in Hebrew, following an announcement two weeks ago that the German-language original, Führerleibwächter, would be launched in May. The Hebrew edition is expected out by December this year.

“We are pleased to announce we have reached an accord with the Müller family to translate and publish their father’s autobiography,” declared Anni Matrila, an assistant editor at KZB. “As soon as our tender to find the most suitable translator concludes, we will get started in earnest. On behalf of KZB and all of our readers, I would like to thank the Müller family and, posthumously, Mr. Müller, for favoring the world with an engaging, compelling account of his career traveling through time to protect baby Hitler, especially the philosophical ramifications of such a choice.”

Führerleibwächter detailed Müller’s journey from time-travel agency enforcer to vigilante bodyguard for Hitler, and provided explorations of the author’s decision to fight other time-travelers intent on altering the course of history to prevent the mass slaughter that characterized the Second World War in Europe.

“I could not in good conscience allow irresponsible actors to commit violence to prevent violence when non-violent alternatives were always available,” read one passage, from the English edition published earlier this month by Viking. “No one ever stopped to consider other ways of preventing the Holocaust, such as preventing Hitler’s parents from meeting, or arranging his acceptance to art school. For some reason there was this obsession with killing baby Hitler, and I could not stand aside and watch such misguided schemes follow through.”

Among the challenges facing any editor is the nature of the text, which was in flux for a long time, owing to the changing past described in Führerleibwächter. A representative of the German publishing house that released the original described the process in an interview late last year, noting that with each attempt of a modern time-traveler to kill baby Hitler, the text would include an additional episode Mr. Müller had written, and which had to be edited.

“There were telltale indications of who was a time-traveler that always gave the game away,” the author explained in another passage. “I could always foil the plan because I was always two steps ahead of the assassins and always anticipated their moves. In this book, the descriptions of events are actually altered from the way they really happened, to prevent would-be assassins from trying to outwit me.”

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