New Palestinian Dating Site For ‘Lone Wolves’

Jenin, January 14 – A group of Arab entrepreneurs believes the time is ripe to tap the market potential of what appears to be a growing population of ‘lone’ Palestinians who attack Jews and Israelis, under the assumption that such lonely people would make ideal customers for a new matchmaking site.

These lone wolves, as the media describe them, are described as such to denote the perception that they operate outside the formal terrorist organizations such as Hamas, and are therefore harder to detect through informants or other traditional intelligence-gathering means. But Gaza Strip entrepreneur Hami Sayyid sees more to it, including the potential to help these activists find true love before they give their lives to kill Jews.

Sayyid convinced several colleagues from the region to help him found DhibDate, a site that matches lone Palestinian wolves with potential partners. “You can still be a wolf, but you needn’t be lone,” reads the site’s tagline. Members of DhibDate can list the qualifications they seek in a mate, as with most other dating sites, but DhibDate offers users the unique attribute of matching a partner’s desired level of compensation from the Palestinian Authority for the martyrdom of a family member with a lone wolf’s aspirations for a minimum number of Israeli casualties.

“In a way, we perform an important social service,” explains Sayyid. “The Palestinian Authority will pay pensions to the families of martyrs – or even those who don’t manage to get themselves killed, but are imprisoned for the attempt – in any case. What we do is enable additional people to become eligible for those monies. The Palestinian economy is tight, and DhibDate can be a meal ticket for any number of otherwise needy people – and of course to find true love in the process, at least until their formerly lone wolf goes and gets himself shot after running over some Jewish pedestrians.”

DhibDate is not Sayyid’s first attempt at online matchmaking. A separate venture last year sought to bring together people killed by the Assad government, under the assumption that people who were both killed by barrel bombs would find common ground. Response was poor, leading to cancellation of Syria Ever After.

Sayyid did enjoy a modest success earlier this year, however, brokering a number of successful marriage arrangments for some of the Nigerian schoolgirls kidnapped by Boko Haram.