No One Wants To Tell Knesset Speaker His Fly Open

“I just couldn’t stay in there,” said a blushing Zehava Gal-On of Meretz.

Roman Yanushevsky / Shutterstock.com

Jerusalem, June 21 – None of Israel’s other 119 parliamentarians want to be the one to inform Knesset Speaker Yuli Edelstein that the zipper of his trousers remains open, sources within the legislature reported this morning.

Speaker Edelstein arrived at the lectern of the plenum to officiate this morning’s session at about 9:30, and began calling on various MKs to address the body in advance of several scheduled votes. Each trip to and from his podium sparked suppressed giggles from the assembled legislators, their aides, and gallery visitors, sparking at least one bewildered comment from Mr. Edelstein that the atmosphere seemed less conducive than usual to sober decision-making.

“I do not relish the role of disciplinarian, so I request that everyone settle down, abandon the frivolity, and get to the business of this body, or I will be forced to have you removed from the room,” said Edelstein. “Unless you have something constructive to add to this morning’s debates, just zip it.”

Several legislators preemptively removed themselves from the session at various points in the proceedings so as not to compound the embarrassment. “I just couldn’t stay in there,” said a blushing Zehava Gal-On of Meretz. “Did you see how his shirttail is sticking out?” She flushed again and bit her fingers to keep from further laughter.

Shas MK Yitzhak Vaknin was seen covering his face in his hands each time Edelstein moved from his seat to the lectern and back, a trip of only several steps that nevertheless gave the plenum and anyone watching the Knesset channel an unwanted display. Eventually Vaknin excused himself from the chamber and sat in the hallway, simply shaking his head.

Three separate MKs considered sending notes to the Speaker via a parliamentary page, but decided not to go that route because Knesset protocol dictates that the originator of every such message be clearly marked on the paper itself. None of the lawmakers or staff present could think of a discreet way to alert Mr. Edelstein to his, and their, predicament.

Knesset officials say they were reminded of other, no less embarrassing, faux pas. “There have been at least seven or eight in the thirty years I’ve been here,” recalled Paul Ekswaizi, who has worked with parliamentary pages for decades. “There was the time Yitzhak Rabin kept repeating MK Ofer Pines’s last name, as if he were just trying to get the guy’s attention, but it was really just an excuse to keep saying, ‘penis, penis, penis, penis,’ in to the microphone. He went on for like a minute and a half.”

But for Ekswaizi, one memory in particular really sticks out: “Then there was some foreign dignitary – was it Kissinger? – who had obvious skid marks on his trousers. Not his underwear – his actual trousers. After the few initial seconds of shock there wasn’t a single person here who could breathe, for laughter. We had our own little puddles of urine to clean up here, everyone was laughing so hard.”