No, We Will Not Share Our Riches With Poorer Terrorist Groups, You Commies

by Ismail Haniyeh, Hamas political chief

Doha, March 31 – Forbes reported last week that our movement has surpassed Hezbollah as the world’s best-funded terrorist organization, with more than a billion dollars moving through our coffers on a per annum basis, a tidbit that prompted more than a few less-fortunate (pun intended) allies and… others to drop some broad hints that we might consider some largesse in their direction, to which I declare, in your dreams, wretches. That money is ours and ours alone. Stop trying to redistribute things to which you have no right. We earned that money with our own sweat and blood. OK, much of the blood was Jewish, but the point stands.

Hamas worked hard to get where it is today: spearheading the resistance to Zionist occupation of Palestine. We emerged from the shadows of bigger players in the arena such as the PLO, and charted a course that strove to maintain integrity and consistency where others – again such as the PLO – made compromises that call into question their commitment to the Palestinian cause. Now that our policy has paid off in literal terms, we cannot squander that effort by rewarding parties whose choices condemn them to financial mediocrity or worse. Mercifulness never liberated an inch of land.

Some key strategies, however, I can share with anyone willing to implement them with discipline and courage. For one thing, diversify. Diplomatic or other pressures can cause the wellsprings of terrorism-support to dry up from a single source, but if one takes care to secure material or pecuniary funding from multiple sources – from, say, Qatar and Turkey as well as Iran – then, when circumstances and Jews conspire to deprive you of one, fall back on the others. Pro tip: European governments are suckers for local “human rights” NGOs that are little more than fronts for terrorism and terrorism apologia. Milk that cow while it still has what to give.

But make sure you put in the effort. You can’t just coast on earlier successes in killing Jews. There’s always somebody more ambitious willing to commit the massacres while you sit on your laurels. That’s why we keep trying to up our capabilities and our methods for killing Jews. That, and the fact that we hate Jews and get our jollies doing so. It’s convenient when one’s religious and ideological tenets endorse otherwise heinous acts, as well. As it happens, our tenets do not look kindly on rewarding underachievers by sharing our heard-earned funds. Communism was so destructive. Stop trying to resurrect it.

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