Obama Advisers Warn Of Paint Shortage For More Red Lines

Washington, March 8 – Officials in President Barack Obama’s cabinet advised him today that the administration’s inventory of red paint is nearly exhausted, having used it repeatedly and ineffectively with Syria, Iran, and Russia. More red lines, they warned, might demand more red paint than this presidency has at its disposal.

In a communique between departments, both the Department of the Interior and the Treasury noted the unexpectedly profligate use of red paint since President Obama’s ultimatum to Syria two years ago in which he warned that the use of chemical weapons against insurgents fighting the Assad regime would constitute a red line, and that crossing such a line would mean a harsh America or international response.

After the first use of such weapons was confirmed, Obama backtracked on the automatic nature of a US response, if any, forcing a redrawing of the red lines at a point much more distant than the mere use of such arms against civilians and the war crimes that entails.

Since then, the president has drawn various red lines in regard to Iran’s nuclear and ballistic missile programs, warning Tehran that continued pursuit of enriched uranium would spell economic disaster for the country. However, the Islamic Republic’s delaying tactics rendered Obama’s sanctions largely irrelevant, and he backtracked on those, as well, urging Congress not to tighten the sanctions. That move brought red paint supplies to a low not seen since before the Second World War.

More recently, Obama warned Russian President Vladimir Putin against further aggression against Ukraine, outlining a list of actions, including the withdrawal of troops from the Crimea, that must be taken if Russia wishes to forestall retaliatory action by NATO or the US. Given the lack of American stomach for further overseas military commitments in the wake of the Iraq and Afghanistan stalemates, it remains unlikely that those red lines will remain in place for long.

With the recent history of Obama’s red lines, his advisers caution against laying down any new ones, such as various guarantees they anticipate would accompany an Israeli peace deal with the Palestinians. Similarly, relaxed border enforcement along the Mexican frontier of late stems partly from a shortage of inventory for the drawing of clear policy lines.

In the 1930’s, the US and Britain developed a shared Red Paint Reserve, which was all but depleted as Nazi Germany made repeated violations of previously laid down red lines – geographically in Czechoslovakia and Austria, and regarding various demilitarized areas mandated under the Treaty of Versailles. Britain was forced to fight when Germany opened hostilities with Poland in 1939, as it had no more red paint on hand with which to draw more lines. The US still had reserves that it could not get to Britain in time to prevent the Crown’s declaration of war, but was able to delay its own entry until Japan sank the bulk of the remaining inventory in its December 1941 attack on Pearl Harbor.

Officials differ on the severity of the problem, but the consensus among Washington insiders is that the focus on the manufacture of red tape for the Affordable Health Care Act has come at the expense of the paint necessary for international credibility. “This administration’s priorities have been domestic, and that means a less consistent supply of red paint for international endeavors,” says Vidkun Quisling, Assistant Undersecretary of State for North Africa and the Middle East.

He added that with Obama in his second term and not eligible for reelection, canvassing has taken a back seat to other policy measures, and attention to paint levels has suffered accordingly.