Octopuses Depict Enemies As Antisemites

“We might be witness to an adaptive behavior developing in real time, and that’s always of interest.”

Arabian Gulf, August 1 – Cephalopods aiming to strike a visceral chord among the public in fomenting animosity and suspicion against political or ideological opponents use visual caricatures of them as Judeophobes.

Observers of the marine invertebrate community have begun to document a phenomenon in which octopuses seek to turn the public against their enemies with the use of evocative imagery that conjures up threatening associations, with the most common such image involving antisemites, marine biologists have reported.

Gutfor de Gander of the Woods Hole Oceanography Institute told a reported Wednesday that only of late have scientists observed the behavior in octopuses, but cautioned that the creatures’ tendency to shy away from human contact might mean the behavior has occurred for some time already and has merely not been observed before for that reason.

“I say this with some hesitancy,” stated de Gander. “It’s certainly possible, given the reclusive nature of octopuses, that this is nothing new. But it’s also likely that this is something new, and that’s rather exciting. We might be witness to an adaptive behavior developing in real time, and that’s always of interest.”

Evolutionary biologists concurred. “Obviously we need to confirm this is unprecedented, but it’s pretty cool,” remarked Professor Richard Dawkins. “It’s simply amazing how clever adaptivity can become.” He pointed to a detail of the cephalopodian tendency, recently observed, that involves the use of yellow stars of David, barbed wire, striped prison uniforms, and what appears to be a blood libel.

“I’m most struck by the precision with which they depict their enemies as falsely accusing others of poisoning water,” he admitted. “And if I’m not mistaken, there’s a little Iranian flag in at least one of the samples.”

Other details the scientists observed include Führer mustaches, goose-stepping squids, barracudas dressed suspiciously like Torquemada, and octopuses of the ‘wrong’ political persuasion portrayed as  czarist secret police casting a wide fishing net made of allegations that Jews control the world’s finances, minds, media, and governments.

If confirmed, the behavior represents the first such adaptation among extant species. “Fossil and some circumstantial evidence point to the possibility of an ancient marine creature that called its enemies ‘Jews’ to instigate others against them,” explained de Gander. “We can’t be certain, because that’s only one interpretation of the data. However, we can state unequivocally that if there ever was a creature that exploited antisemitic tropes, it didn’t last very long.”

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