Olmert Convictions Means Now He Actually Has Some

Tel Aviv, March 31 – Tel Aviv Disctrict Court Magistrate David Rosen pronounced former Prime Minister Ehud Olmert guilty on corruption charges today, finally supplying Olmert with at least one conviction, something he had lacked in his previous 68 years.

The verdict stems from a lengthy series of investigations and litigation involving Olmert’s terms first as mayor of Jerusalem and then as the director of Israel Lands Administration, positions he abused for his own personal gain. Projects that all but raped the Jerusalem skyline were approved, notably a monstrosity overlooking a major crossroads, a development more in line with the bizarre architecture of Modi’in, a sprawling suburb located, appropriately, on the way to Tel Aviv. Tel Aviv itself is known for its concentration of Art Deco buildings, a throwback to a time when designers and politicians alike did not even pretend to give a crap.

Olmert, however, adopted the persona of a person with convictions, despite not having anything resembling them. The lack of values served him well in his odyssey toward the premiership, but ultimately caused his downfall, as he was forced to resign amid an earlier bribery case that eventually ended in a Not Guilty verdict. Expecting a similar result in the current case, the career scumbag had been planning a political comeback, one that a person with actual integrity would never consider. But with the judge returning a verdict of guilty on charges of accepting bribes and breach of trust, Olmert has finally been given a set of convictions, albeit not the type that would actually inform an ethical life.

Olmert’s conviction marks the first time in Israel a former Prime Minister has been charged, let alone convicted, of a crime. However, a former head of state, former President Moshe Katzav, was convicted several years ago on charges of rape and sexual harassment, which until now had made him unique in the annals of fallen Israeli politicians. Olmert, like Katzav, continues to insist on his innocence, and similarly attributes the entire affair to machinations by political or personal enemies, which of course everyone in Israel trusts about as much as they trusted him in the aftermath of the mismanaged Lebanon War of 2006.