Opponents Sikh Of Netanyahu Trying To Curry Favor With India

The prime minister called talk of his supposed inability to conduct the business of the state a naan-issue.

Jerusalem, January 17 – Political adversaries of the prime minister took to the media today to denounce him for using a trip to India to distract from the scandals plaguing his administration, and to caste doubt on the way in which Netanyahu has handled Delhicate relations with President Narendra Modi.

Foes of the premier took quick advantage of his absence to play up his alleged involvement in several open cases of corruption that they say point to serious laapsis in judgment and call into question Veda he should continue to hold office.

“Bibi must be aware that he gharis a shadow of wrongdoing wherever he steps,” asserted MK Yair Lapid, son of Yosef “Tamil” Lapid. “Every time anyone mentions his shady dealings, he parotta the same mantras. Enough. Sari, Bibi, but it’s time to go.”

“Khaman, everyone knows he’s trying to talk up  the bonda between the two countries just to distract from his Nehru political margin,” asserted Zionist Union head Tzipi Livni. “It all comes down to actions. I’m sure he’d like us all to ignore the documented behavior of Yair, but like vada, like son.”

Netanyahu, for his part, insists the rhetoric reflects his opponents’ frustration they cannot unseat him by democratic means, and so must resort to measures that merely ennai him. “It must really tikka them off,” he observed with a wry smile. I don’t even need to have anything special upmaa sleeve to protect my government from their chennainigans. Ghee, everything I do seems to get a rice out of them, so engineering those moments gives me pleasure, so Jaipur it on. They can’t taj me.”

The prime minister called talk of his supposed inability to conduct the business of the state a naan-issue. “That’s not a serious subject,” he claimed. “Leave it to the morons submitting comments on news websites and in chaat rooms. Personally, I Urdu you disregard such groupthink and think Hindipendently. Nothing wrong with slaughtering a few of the sacred cows the left-leaning media has put forth for so long. Or Gujarrather follow the herd?”

Some Netanyahu critics have admitted errors in the way they have sought to undermine him. “Aloo, dummy, his family should be off limits,” admonished journalist Ben Gali. “Some of the stories have been too parcheesi to be believable – that whole episode with Sarah getting out of the khar was all kinds of Hydera-bad. If I had a daal-er for every time the press tried to peda such a story about Bibi I’d be as rich as they accuse him of becoming at public expense.”

“It doesn’t mean he’s not the embodiment of evil,” added Gali. “As far as we’re concerned he’s Darth Veda.”

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