Opposition Leader: I Could Mishandle War Better Than Bibi

Jerusalem, August 3 – Knesset Opposition Leader Isaac Herzog said in an address this morning that if he were in office instead of Prime Minister Binyamin Netanyahu, he would be more adept at bungling the current war.

Herzog addressed a breakfast of Labor and allied Knesset leaders, most of whom are trying to walk the fine line of supporting Operation Protective Edge against Hamas terrorists in the Gaza Strip while nevertheless attempting to cast doubt on the ability of the governing coalition to make the right misguided decisions.

“We must give credit where credit is due,” said Herzog. “The current government has mishandled much of this fighting in exactly the right way. They have stopped fighting at key points to allow Hamas to adjust and redeploy in order to stage counterattacks. They have worried so much about international opinion that critical IDF operations have been compromised or aborted. They have withheld intelligence from the public in exactly the wrong way, prompting speculation and criticism that the tunnel threat fiasco might shape up to be the biggest snafu since the failure to foresee the Yom Kippur War.” The statements drew scattered applause.

“But a truly incompetent leader would go much further,” he told those in attendance. “A leader with a vision of how to make the situation truly FUBAR would also ensure that there is no way to remove the threat of a better-armed, re-energized Hamas. A truly incompetent leader would ignore the reality that Abu Mazen lacks the ability to deliver on any compromises, and nevertheless pursue far-reaching, irreversible concessions to him. A truly incompetent leader would do everything in his power to strengthen the so-called ‘moderate’ Palestinian leadership irrespective of the fact that ‘moderate’ in that context means seeking the destruction of Israel gradually rather than instantly.”

“I am that leader,” said Herzog. “The movement I represent possesses an alternative to the current government, whose officials remain dangerously effective, competent, and patriotic. And I will do everything in my power to bring down the current government to replace it with leadership that knows the real meaning of screwing up.”

“Mine is the party that gave us Oslo,” he reminded everyone, and the applause grew appreciably louder.