Opposition To Judicial Reform A Pretty Handy Pretext Not To Work

“We won’t let Bib and Ben-Gvir do this,” asserted Dafna Shoham from her chaise longue at Bograshov Beach.

Jerusalem, March 27 – Students, faculty, public sector workers, and other members of Israel’s largest labor union agreed today that the ongoing protests against the Netanyahu government’s proposed changes to various elements of the justice system have provided excellent cover for refusing to do their jobs.

Reports emerged today and over the last several weeks of numerous Israelis happy to sleep in or veg out instead of showing up to work, all with the noble excuse of striking in opposition to a judicial reform package that proponents insist would repair egregious violations of the doctrine of separation of powers by the judiciary, and opponents decry as an attempt to emasculate a judicial system that stands between the Right and its dictatorial ambitions.

“Democracy yes, I’m defending democracy,” yawned Al Betzaroff, a switchboard operator for one of Israel’s sick funds, as he rolled over this morning instead of getting out of bed at 6:30. “Democracy is very impowwmmm…nhhnnhh…”

“We won’t let Bib and Ben-Gvir do this,” asserted Dafna Shoham from her chaise longue at Bograshov Beach in Tel Aviv, referring to the prime minster and his far-right Minister of Public Security, respectively. “Right, Nitza?” Her companion and ostensible coworker at Tel Aviv University held up a fist in firm assent without looking up from her paperback novel.

“We’ll show him – we’ll show them,” vowed a high schooler thrilled to have a valid reason to skip school. “Out entire democratic system is at stake here,” he recalled arguing to his parents in his effort to convince them he must, absolutely must, attend a rally instead of today’s classes. “And they bought it! Spending the day out, coming and going to and from protests as I please – I don’t care what the cause is, if it keeps me away from Pazit and her stupid English essays, I’ll rally in favor of mustard soup. I mean, yes, democracy is critical, of course. Critical.” He rushed away to greet a group of like-minded friends.

Middle-management figures featured in the phenomenon, as well. “I encouraged my colleagues to attend protests, citing the danger to democracy,” explained Laura Tziti, a junior partner at a Ramat-Gan law firm. “As it happens, the decision to endorse that was rendered much, much easier by the fact that I can’t stand spending a moment more than necessary with that bunch of jerks. I can pray at least one of them chooses to go home and shower for once.”

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