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Palestine Refugees Decline Offer Of Canadian Citizenship; ‘Illegal To Kill Jews There’

“But give it two years, max.”

Rafah, May 16 – Leaders of various factions in Gaza, the West Bank, and around the region rejected a proposal by Prime Minister Justin Trudeau’s government to absorb millions of their people into his country to remedy their perpetual statelessness, calling the proposal critically deficient in its lack of a provision to exempt the would-be immigrants from laws barring the murder of Jews.

Representatives of Hamas, Islamic Jihad, and the numerous constituent elements of the Palestine Liberation Organization uniformly decided today to turn down the Canadian offer, made last week, following clarifications that Palestinians who choose to move to Canada under the terms of the offer would find themselves subject to restrictions that at present do not apply to them, chief among them Canadian laws making it illegal to engage in wanton killing, including the killing of Jews – laws that do not exist or apply where Palestinians live under their own autonomy.

“We appreciate the offer, but must refuse,” stated Fatah spokesman Osama al-Qawasmi. “We prefer to have Canada’s support in the form of pressuring Israel diplomatically, economically, or otherwise, even by mistreating Jews in Canada. But moving to Canada would deprive us of a prerogative we insist on maintaining, namely, the freedom to kill or otherwise abuse and despoil Jews.”

“Canada has made important strides of late in alienating its Jewish population,” acknowledged Aifaq Yurkamel, a Hamas official in Turkey. “We see encouraging signs in the Trudeau government’s both-sidesing of violence against Jews. But the country remains a considerable distance from serving as a place where Palestinians can feel comfortable, where Palestinians can uphold their own values. Right now there are laws on the books that do not exempt Jews from mistreatment. That would have to change. The trend is good, though. I give it two years, max.”

A Popular Front for the Liberation of Palestine representative took a harsher tone. “It’s an insult,” he spat. “Our generational struggle rests on the sacred premise that the Arab must be supreme and the Jew at the mercy of the Arab. To accept an offer of resettlement, as attractive a place as Canada is, means abandoning the existential underpinnings of our whole cause, if it means relinquishing our right to kill Jews if we feel moved to do so. We wish to restore that glory we had before the colonial powers moved in and deprived us of that structural superiority over Jews. Not good enough, Canada.”

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