Palestinians Go Record 3 Weeks Without Sacrificing Kids To Make IDF Look Evil

Not for lack of trying.

Near Gaza border fence with Israel, December 11 – Organizers of the once-weekly violent demonstrations against Israel at this location today confessed experiencing unprecedented built-up tension since last month’s bursts of rocket fire into Jewish cities and towns, noting that almost a month has passed since their last intentional placement of a Palestinian child in harm’s way has resulted in the death of that child and a public relations black eye for Israel.

Friday protests at the border fence – replete with Molotov cocktails, rock-throwing, fence-cutting, bombs, and other methods to which Palestinians and their apologists refer as “non-violent” – went on hiatus during November’s round of violence, and have yet to resume. The break in the demonstrations, which have taken place for most of 2019, has extended three weeks so far, smashing the previous record of fifteen days of Palestinians not sacrificing a child or other innocent in an effort to manufacture outrage against the Jewish state.

“I don’t know how much longer we can hold out,” admitted protest coordinator Qild Aqid. “We have a routine, but our leadership’s hesitation to resume the protests and the child sacrifice that goes along with them has left us in unfamiliar psychological territory. The other everyday accusations of Jewish perfidy and brutality are fine; it’s just that most of us can sense they lack the same rhetorical and political oomph without accompanying images of dead children. We haven’t gone this long without engineering the shooting death of a Palestinian child since I think 2012.”

Aqid noted that the current no-child-sacrifice streak has not occurred for lack of trying. “Just a couple of days ago some of us fired rockets at Israel again. Unfortunately that failed to elicit the desired military response,” he recalled. “We had women and children placed in proximity to the launch sites and several others we thought Israel might hit in retaliation, but the hoped-for response never came. I’m not sure how much of this we can take before something or someone snaps.”

Previous episodes of not sacrificing children to IDF fire have taken place thanks in part to other kinds of release, explained psychologist Ali Latdam. “The problem here has become more pronounced because no one has dragged alleged collaborators through the streets by motor scooter,” he observed. “Even throwing the occasional homosexual off a rooftop has decreased in frequency. I fear someone will soon get so frustrated he’ll disregard the protocols we’ve followed for so long and just start shooting kids, blaming Israel.”

“It still might work, though,” he realized.

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