Palestinians To Reenact D-Day, Aftermath By Shooting Americans

“We could just continue what we’ve been doing for years and fire our rockets at civilians, as the Germans did to Britain, but you wouldn’t know that’s a D-Day thing.”

Caen, June 5 – The seventy-fifth anniversary of the Allied invasion of Nazi-occupied Europe falls tomorrow, and Palestinian leaders aim to mark the occasion by with a recreation of their favorite moments during and following Operation Overlord, such as massacres of hundreds of captured Americans by gunfire.

In the early morning of June 6, 1944, American, British, Canadian, and other allied troops crossed the English Channel into the Normandy region of Nazi-controlled France, opening a second front in Europe against the Third Reich and bringing Hitler’s defeat closer. Palestinians will commemorate the occasion with reenactments of some notable moments from that phase of the Second World War, such as mass shootings of civilians and American prisoners.

Officials in both the Fatah and Hamas factions of the Palestinian leadership instructed staff to prepare for the capture and execution of hundreds of American prisoners-of-war in a reprise of the war crimes at Malmedy and Wereth, Belgium, among other locations. “It is important to remember which side we were on in that conflict,” explained Saeb Erekat of Fatah. “The Mufti of Jerusalem, Haj Amin al-Husseini, gave staunch support to Hitler and intended to bring the Final Solution to Palestine in the event of a German victory over the British. Our current tensions with the Americans provide a solid stimulus for us to reassert our core values in that respect.”

“We normally have to settle for killing Jews,” added Hamas spokesman Fawzi Barhoum in a separate interview. “That’s fine and noble, and it’s our primary mission, but for this occasion we have to go a little further. Every now and then we get to kill Americans – there was even that American soldier, Taylor Force – but our main thing is definitely Jews. But D-Day is big. We need to do something unusual. Granted, not trying to kill people would be unusual for us, but the context has to work. In this case, we’re leaning towards activities that are in our wheelhouse already, such as singling out Americans of African ancestry and torturing them before we execute them, just as we discriminate against the blacks among us. Alternatively, I suppose we could just continue what we’ve been doing for years and fire our rockets at civilians, as the Germans did to Britain, but you wouldn’t know that’s a D-Day thing.”

Unfortunately for the planners, Israel’s military blockade of the Gaza Strip and its ability to operate in Palestinian-controlled areas has hampered preparations for the celebration. “We’ll be lucky to get an English-speaking Jewish settler,” admitted Barhoum. “But it’s the symbolism that’s important here.”

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