Passover Recess Allows MKs Break From Accomplishing Nothing

Some respite from the grueling work of doing diddly-squat.

Jerusalem, March 25 – Israeli legislators began to breathe easy today with the approach of the springtime Pesach festival, knowing that the time off before, during, and after the holiday allows them some respite from the grueling work of doing diddly-squat for their constituents when the parliament remained in session.

Lawmakers expressed their relief today amid the aftermath of elections that have yet to yield a clear long-term result or obvious coalition composition in the 120-seat Knesset, observing that while they expected a measure of paralysis during the initial period of post-election limbo, the onset of the Passover break allows them to accomplish even more nothing than they could normally hope to achieve.

Members of Knesset from all factions voiced similar sentiments Thursday ahead of the seven-day Passover festival that begins this Saturday night: they plan to kick back and relax following a demanding legislative session full of chaotic uselessness, exacerbated by an election campaign characterized by futility and extreme idleness.

“It’s been a rough few months,” acknowledged MK Ahmad Tibi of the Ra’am Party. “At least for the next few weeks I can ignore the intensively empty legislative calendar to focus on other issues, such as the illegitimacy of the system that pays my salary and gives me a platform to keep inciting hatred and justifying violence, issues that I hardly have time to address while the Knesset is in session and I have to devote every active moment to denouncing the state and justifying violence against its representatives.”

“I think this sense of relief prevails across the political spectrum,” noted Likud MK Zeev Elkin. “I know I’m tired of having to come up with new and creative explanations for why our illustrious Binyamin Netanyahu, so fond of claiming to represent the right wing, accomplished precisely zero with respect to securing any of the long-term domestic issues on the right-wing agenda during his cumulative fifteen years at the helm of the state. I’m looking forward to a few weeks of reduced intensity of needling questions about why Likud and Bibi have done nothing to limit the hegemony of the unelected High Court and the State Prosecutor; protect Jewish farmers from the rampant agricultural terrorism and vandalism they face; combat brazen thefts and burglaries by Bedouin from IDF arsenals; enforce building and land use laws in the Negev; and do something, anything, to rid South Tel Aviv of tens of thousands of illegal foreign residents whose crime, noise, and harassment of citizens have made the place unlivable.”

News media reported a similar sense of relief as they look forward to a respite from not doing their jobs as journalists instead of advocates of a specific political narrative.

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