Pharaoh Adviser Insists Opposition To Hebrew Viceroy Merely Anti-Zionist

“Who is this guy, anyway, with no administrative experience beyond Potiphar’s estate and the prison?”

Memphis, January 2 – An Egyptian official who has argued against the king’s appointment of a Hebrew former slave to a position second only to the Crown denies that his opposition stems from anti-Hebrew prejudice, contending that he is merely against Zionism.

Araphat, Minister of Agricultural Labor, lobbied other advisers to Pharaoh today to rescind or scale back the appointment of Tzaphenath Pa’aneah, formerly known as Joseph, to the post of viceroy. Araphat and several allies at court have objected to the decision, contending that other, more worthy candidates for the position could be found among native Egyptians. Responding to accusations of xenophobia and anti-Hebrew sentiment, the minister claimed that he has nothing personally against Tzaphenath Pa’aneah as a Hebrew – he simply opposes normalization with the Hebrew Entity occupying Canaan, and the elevation of the Hebrew will only serve to cement that occupation by lending a Hebrew legitimacy in the royal court.

“Anyone who accuses me of anti-Hebrew sentiments is trying to stifle criticism of Zionist crimes,” asserted Araphat. “I have Egypt’s best interests at heart, and one of those is not granting legitimacy to a murderous colonialist regime.” He declined to elaborate how Egypt’s own policies in Canaan, Kush, and elsewhere differ from the Zionist ones he opposes, and charged that anyone asking him to do so was attempting to distract from the crimes of the Zionists by diverting attention to other, less important issues.

“Who is this guy, anyway, with no administrative experience beyond Potiphar’s estate and the prison?” added a blogger who goes by the moniker Tikkunolam. “It’s suspicious is what it is. We opponents of the appointment smell something fishy here, and it’s not about the ethnicity of anybody. Just that it’s typical of a Heb- I mean a Zionist – to insinuate himself into a position of power where he can manipulate the system for his own gain, subjugate the masses, control the economy, and put his own people in control. I’m sure we as Egyptians would rather starve than owe our survival to such a race. I’m not being racist!”

Observers note that anti-Zionists have already failed to generate a boycott of Hebrew businesses, with Pharaoh himself adopting Pa’aneah’s dream-interpretation services. “That was a significant blow,” noted Ta’anakh Takhpanhess, a commentator for The Weekly Hieroglyph. “But given the uncompromising nature of BDS activism, these people will keep harassing the viceroy. It wouldn’t surprise me to find them accusing anyone who associates with him as spies.”

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