“A fire truck is the way to go. Same vroom-vroom-vroom-pigeon-at-the-wheel energy, minus the fear of terrorist bombing.”
Hadera, February 5 – A local avian has changed his mind about seeking a career in public transportation, sources reported today, following the bird’s discovery that his vehicle of choice has long been a target of terrorist organizations fighting Israel’s existence.
The pigeon in question told reporters that he has decided instead to gain employment driving a fire truck.
“I know I’ve devoted quite a bit of time and energy recently trying to convince you to let me drive the bus,” the pigeon acknowledged with some visible embarrassment. “I’ll be the first to admit, and not with pride, that I tried every trick in the book – literally, it’s a book you can buy in the children’s section, by Mo Willems – to get you to let me drive the bus. It was everything I wanted. I made that clear. Now, though, I’m reconsidering. Did you know Palestinian terrorists have blown up dozens of Israeli buses? Yeah, I’m not as enthusiastic about the bus thing anymore, for some reason.”
Bus bombing attacks have been a staple of Palestinian terrorism going back decades; a wayward handbag or piece of luggage often prompts involvement from the local bomb squad. But the tactic accelerated during the 1990’s and the Second Intifada of the early 2000’s as the armed groups evolved into using suicide bombers, and targeted crowded venues and bus stops as well as public transportation vehicles themselves. Israel’s completion of large sections of the Separation Barrier in 2005 stemmed the penetration of many such terrorists and the phenomenon has lessened, but remains in the local consciousness as a hallmark of Palestinian violence.
“I think I’ll be OK driving something else,” the pigeon acknowledged. “Yes, I yearned with every fiber of my being to drive that bus. I still like the bus! I do! True story. I really did want you to give in to my badgering and let me drive it. I just… as soon as I found out about Hamas and company… well, live and learn. I learned in time to live. Who knows what might have happened otherwise? In light of this new information – new to me, anyway – I think a fire truck is the way to go. Same vroom-vroom-vroom-pigeon-at-the-wheel energy, minus the fear of terrorist bombing.”
Analysts predict that if or when the pigeon discovers that one of the Palestinian terrorist tactics involves a second suicide bomber who detonates his charge upon the arrival of first responders, he will consider a further change in automotive aspirations.
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