Thank you for your devotion to this sacred cause. To help us direct your talents and preferences in the best way, please provide the information solicited in the following questionnaire. We will do our best to accommodate your preferences, but make no guarantees, so please answer the questions as accurately as you can.
Happy dying! – the Palestinian Resistance
Name: ________________ Age: ____ Age to tell Western media you are when you are killed (must be lower than 18): ______
Number of immediate family members who will receive monthly pension for your efforts: ______
I prefer to meet my end by:
__ getting shot by Israeli security personnel/civilians
__ blowing myself up to kill Israelis
__ getting blown up in a preventive/retaliatory strike
__ no preference
I feel most capable of killing Jews:
__ from a distance where I am less likely to be neutralized, and can possibly escape
__ up close where I can see the faces of the pig Zionists as I stab them
__ from behind the wheel of a car
__ in whatever way is most suitable to our people’s needs at the time
After I am killed while attempting to kill Israelis, please describe me to Western media as a:
__ journalist
__ child
__ athlete
__ human rights activist
__ other, please specify (non-violent occupations only):________________________
I have a driver’s license Y/N (circle one).
How flexible are you on the choice of target?
__ I insist on killing only Jews
__ I will kill any Israelis, because even Arab citizens of the Zionist entity are privileged traitors
__ I will kill Israeli Jews, Israeli Arabs, and Palestinian accused of collaborating with Israel
__ I have a specific person or persons I want to kill, and leave it to the rest of you to justify it.
How many family members are you willing to sacrifice or endanger to accomplish your mission?
__ 0-1 (this answer disqualifies you from participation in the program)
__ 2-5 (this answer only qualifies you for the program if at least one person in that group is a child)
__ 5-10
__ 10 or more (this answer may qualify you for our rocket home-storage program)
Please attach 2 photos: 1 of you dressed as a civilian, which we will provide to Western media and NGOs; the other of you posing with weapons and paraphernalia of the resistance group of your choice, to be featured on your martyr poster.
I the undersigned certify that all the details I have provided above are true to the best of my knowledge, and that if any of them are found to be knowingly and materially false, I will be labeled a collaborator or homosexual, and treated accordingly by those who have completed their applications properly.
______________ Date: _____________
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