Pneumatic Drill Nextdoor Unaware It Cause Of Lockdown Nervous Breakdown

Tightened restrictions imposed over the weekend exacerbated the domestic tensions, but the digging that began toward the end of August cemented their descent into the loony bin.

Jerusalem, September 24 – A piece of heavy construction equipment demonstrated no awareness today that the noise and ground vibrations resulting from its activities over the last several weeks have played an outsize role in the impending disintegration of the family forced by anti-pandemic measures to spend most of its time in an adjacent property.

A JCB digger/breaker/loader vehicle that has engaged in demolition and clearing work, followed by the creation of a foundation for a planned apartment building in a central neighborhood of the capital, continued to perform its assigned tasks Thursday in a manner that observers say indicates no knowledge of the fact that in the house that abuts the work site, a family ensconced inside and attempting to go about a daily routine of school, work, and household chores faces imminent nervous breakdown because the combination of isolation, close quarters, cabin fever, and seeing only the same damn faces over and over and over had already sent them careening over the edge of the Cliffs of Insanity before the incessant bang-bang-bang of the pneumatic drill accelerated the process.

Vehicle 5 of the Aziz Abu-Tir Construction and Contracting Corporation persisted this morning in breaking apart several more cubic meters of limestone to prepare a foundation for a four-story residential structure. The site lies in a neighborhood where such structures lie cheek-by-jowl with one another, and the narrow dimensions of the property lots preclude intervening space between adjacent buildings both right-to-left and front-to back. A family of seven confined to its home on the parallel street, directly behind the drilling site, has seen its sanity and functionality eroded by close-quarters living since anti-COVID measures took effect several months ago; tightened restrictions imposed over the weekend exacerbated the domestic tensions, but the digging that began toward the end of August cemented their descent into the loony bin.

“I’m going to rip someone’s head off,” growled the mother of the family. “It can be nighttime when no work is going on, but if someone knocks on the door and the rhythm of the knock is anything like that #$%* drill, I kick the wall. I’ve already broken two toes, but you know what? At least the trips to the emergency room got me away from those – I mean, I love my family, my children, I love them dearly, but one more fight over who looked at whom funny first, and I’m getting myself arrested. Jail has to be better than this.”

The vehicle operator suggested everyone get a job that allows them to work outside.

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