Police Assure Man Mysterious White Powder Belongs In Flour Package

Flour, to the untrained eye, looks like other white powders, some of which can be dangerous, even deadly.

Rosh HaAyin, May 2 – Counterterrorism agents, chemical and biological warfare experts converged on a two-story home in this sleepy Tel Aviv suburb this morning following a panicked call by a local father and husband that a white powder had been delivered to the house with an order of groceries. The security personnel cordoned off the area, entered the home, and assessed the situation, whereupon they informed the distraught man that the white powder should provide no cause for alarm, as that is the form that bleached wheat flour takes.

According to police reports, at approximately ten o’clock this morning the unidentified man took delivery of a grocery shop his wife ordered online last night. He tipped the delivery crew and set about placing each item in its place in the kitchen or elsewhere. The man had little trouble remembering where to stow the milk, beer, or toilet paper, but then encountered 2 kilo-size packages of white powder, with some of the substance leaking out of a small tear, and, fearing the worst, called the police.

Police dispatchers alerted the relevant Home Front Command personnel, who summoned a SWAT team, a chemical weapons specialist, and a group of forensic experts to collect and analyze the threatening material. Police closed off a 40-meter radius around the affected house, forcing several neighbors to spend almost half an hour outside. Witnesses report that less than a minute after entering the house, a pathology specialist emerged with his face mask off and his head shaking in apparent disbelief.

“We assume the fellow who made the initial report seldom sets foot in a kitchen except to remove beer or milk from the fridge,” remarked a police official at the scene. “That might explain his reaction to flour, which, to the untrained eye, looks like other white powders, some of which can be dangerous, even deadly. Our personnel explained to him what flour is, and why it makes sense for it to be delivered in a grocery order that includes flour. We also took the precaution of showing him what powdered laundry detergent looks like, to avoid a recurrence of such false alarms.”

“Citizens are encouraged to remain diligent and vigilant,” pronounced Commissioner Roni Alsheikh. “At the same time, we urge everyone to educate themselves regarding everyday substances that are harmless, but if misunderstood, can cause widespread panic, which no one wants.”

At press time, the householder had nearly finished placing the remaining groceries in their places when he encountered an open package of baking soda in the pantry and called the police again.

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