Polling Reveals Israelis Sick Of Polls

The current figures mark a gradual shift that began with the formation of the current government.

Jerusalem, December 29 – A survey of potential voters by one of the country’s leading electoral analysis firms has revealed that potential voters have grown irritated by, and weary of, such surveys.

Geocartopgraphia, a company that specializes in marketing and political polling, disclosed Wednesday that its latest research indicates Israelis will no longer participate, or will only reluctantly participate, in political surveys online or when researchers call them to gauge their political sensibilities, citing the pointlessness of the endeavor and the nausea that overtakes them during the course of the activity.

“Our most up-to-date data point to an important inflection point in Israeli politics,” a statement by the company read. “We have discovered that as of last week, and certainly no later than the beginning of December, a plurality of Israeli respondents describe themselves as sickened, weakened, about to throw up, faint, or otherwise in compromised physiological shape when they engage in political poll participation.”

The company noted that the current figures mark a gradual shift that began with the formation of the current government earlier this year, but after which polling groups continued to solicit data from the electorate on their preferred party under hypothetical elections held today. Such surveys have become a regular feature of pre-election periods, four of which Israel underwent in the last three years.

“The share of voters sick of polls has long held steady at approximately ten percent of respondents,” a spokesman for the company explained. “Those numbers remained steady more or less throughout the series of previous election cycles, going all the way back to 2012, though the earlier data were collated differently and might not reflect the same trend. But we began to notice a subtle uptick over the summer, and by the time Hanukkah rolled around a few weeks ago, a full forty-two percent of survey respondents expressed some kind of physical illness symptom in reaction to our inquiries as to their voting preferences.”

The spokesman observed that in contrast to the illness numbers, the prospective voting numbers have shifted little, with Binyamin Netanyahu’s Likud Party leading all other contenders by a wide margin but still falling short of a clear path to a majority coalition of 61 Knesset seats, given the upending of various right-wing allegiances and assumptions that occurred during or because of the formation of the current government.

Experts expect that by this coming June, political polling will result in a predictable percentage of voters who choose to slit their wrists rather than participate in another survey.

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