Pope Very Unhappy With Only Mideast Country Where Christian Population Increasing

Unlike every single neighboring country, which the pope has never criticized in such strident terms.

Rome, March 6 – The head of the Roman Catholic Church voiced his displeasure today with the one state in the Levant and surrounding region where the number of adherents of his faith has actually grown in the last hundred years, because that state fails to live up to a moral standard that the Church appears to demand not of its adherents, but of the Jews who run that one state.

A spokesman for the ailing Pope Francis told reporters today that the Holy Father remains steadfast in his harsh criticism of Israel over its alleged treatment of Palestinians, and demands more of Israel, the only country in the Middle East the does not treat its Christian population as second-class at best, and whose Christian population, as a result, has enjoyed a steady increase for decades, than of every single neighboring country, which the pope has never criticized in such strident terms.

“His Holiness prays for peace even from the hospital,” insisted Cardinal Sutcha Smallman, from the Vatican. “He has deemed Israel’s actions wicked, with special concern for the beleaguered Christians of the Gaza Strip.” His Holiness has never once characterized the actions of any of Israel’s neighbors as “wicked,” despite the intimidation, abuse, oppression, and even murder to which Christians are subjected everywhere surrounding Israel: in Turkey, Syria, Lebanon, Iraq, and Egypt, for example, not to mention countries such as Houthi-controlled Yemen that ban the practice of Christianity entirely.

Pope Francis has, however, refrained entirely from praising non-Christian Israel’s religious tolerance, just as he has refrained from admonishing non-Christian Egypt, Syria, Jordan, Iraq, Algeria, and others for their lack of religious tolerance. Cardinal Smallman explained that the “special status” of Jews in the view of the Catholic Church makes it necessary to single out the Jewish State for attention.

“We need to reassure ourselves that we’re not just making it up and the Jews were right to reject Jesus in the first place,” he noted. “The insecurity never goes away. The very legitimacy of our Savior and our entire belief system hinges on accepting the truth of the Hebrew Bible and prophets, while at the the same time insisting that the same Bible and the same prophets are not authoritative because we’re doing something different now. Of course the Pope, and the entire Church, is insecure about it.”

“Don’t even get me started on how hard we work to ignore, as people of faith in the God of the Bible, the emerging fulfillment in recent decades of the Redemption-of-Israel prophecies in the same books we swore up and down were really about Jesus.”

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