The prolonged period of everlasting peace showcased the spiritual and moral power the Roman Catholic Church still wields.
Cairo, May 1 – Pope Francis concluded his first visit to Muslim-majority Egypt last week amid ongoing anti-Christian violence there, and urged the Christian and Islamic religious communities to interact peacefully – a request from the heart whose charismatic force wrought such a change in Egyptian society that the violence permanently ceased for almost ten seconds.
From the moment Francis delivered his impassioned remarks in a Coptic church that had been targeted by Islamist terrorists, until a group of Muslim men spat at a pair of Coptic women in the country’s south, a full eight quadrillion, two hundred trillion femtoseconds elapsed, a veritable eternity in quantum terms. The prolonged period of everlasting peace showcased the spiritual and moral power the Roman Catholic Church still wields, according to religion observers.
“We would not have seen this kind of development under Pope Benedict XVI,” gushed Father Yerri Dassadorros of the Diocese of Gregorio de Laferrere in Buenos Aires, Argentina, referring to Francis’s predecessor. “He was far too conservative a personality, even leaving theology aside. The moral force of Francis’s appeals call to mind the early days of Pope John Paul II, who similarly beseeched people of all stripes to stop killing one another.”
“Eight quadrillion femtoseconds – that must be a record,” agreed Imam Aiwil Biheddem of Riyadh. “That’s eight thousand picoseconds. What’s more, that’s eight million attoseconds. Light can travel across two entire hydrogen atoms in just one attosecond, so imagine how far it could go in eight million. There hasn’t been such a protracted period of Christian-Muslim peace since I don’t know when.” He added that it provided a perfect opportunity to exploit the resulting complacency of the infidel to reassert Islamic dominance over others.
A Vatican spokesman declined to elaborate on the specifics of Francis’s plans for use of this immense power, but indicated the pontiff is considering bringing it to bear on other intractable conflicts. “When the pope visited Israel and the Palestinian territories in 2014, there was a lull in Palestinian incitement and violence for almost three zeptoseconds,” explained Father Dhimmi Dhimmi. “The Holy Father already demonstrated his capacity to bring peace to parties in conflict back then. It is up to him, of course, but many would like to see Pope Francis resolve the Arab-Israeli conflict as he has the strife involving the Copts in Egypt. From there he could proceed to bring peace to Ukraine, the South china Sea, the Korean Peninsula, and New York-Boston baseball enmity.”
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