Prime Minister’s Office Shredder Technician Named Employee Of The Month Again

Avi Kastah, 40, earned the award keeping the machine in working order despite the high intensity of its operation.

Jerusalem, January 16 – A low-level employee at Prime Minister Binyamin Netanyahu’s office has been given Employee of the Month honors for December, extending his streak to a record two-and-a-half years.

The man tasked with keeping the document shredder in the office in good repair was named the most outstanding employee once again at a brief ceremony this morning, and as a token of his achievement received a bottle of champagne and a box of cigars, in addition to the traditional framed certificate. Avi Kastah, 40, earned the award keeping the machine in working order despite the high intensity of its operation, and in getting it back on line with minimal delay when it does stop functioning.

Netanyahu praised Kastah’s dedication, and expressed personal gratitude to him for making his life easier. “The salaries people draw do not always give an accurate reflection of the value their work provides,” gushed the premier. “In your case, Avi, your contribution goes far beyond mere technical support. You have singlehandedly kept me and my staff at the top of our game, and prevented mishaps that could have compromised our ability to run this country effectively.”

A weary-looking Kastah accepted the certificate and gifts without a word, to polite applause from coworkers. In contrast to several previous occasions, the honoree chose to nod in appreciation toward Netanyahu and share a knowing glance with him as he raised to bottle of champagne.

Kastah first received the Employee of the Month award in February 2014. His second such honor for that July marked the beginning of an unprecedented streak in the Prime Minister’s Office, a thirty-month period in which his services were in demand almost around the clock. The previous record was held by an aide to Prime Minister Ehud Olmert whose main function involved courier duties, and who earned Employee of the Month honors nine months in a row during two different periods: while Olmert was Mayor of Jerusalem, in 2000, and later, when he served as Minister of Industry and Trade in the government of Prime Minister Ariel Sharon.

Coworkers had few reservations about the developing monopoly Kastah has established on the award. “The guy deserves it, no question,” observed Halbana T’hon, who empties the bin into which shredded documents fall once the machine finishes destroying them. “I got the award right before Avi started his streak, and it would be nice to win it again, but his job carries a lot more stress than mine does. The prime minister might need one worker dedicated to the job of emptying that bin all the time, but there’s not nearly as much pressure on me as on Avi.”

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