Public Aghast At Notion That Mere Existence Of Vaccine Doesn’t Permit Reckless Abandon

“It’s pointless to stop me from yelling at the top of my lungs in the immediate vicinity of up to dozens of other people at a time.”

Tel Aviv, January 6 – Israelis reacted with horror today to a suggestion that the arrival in the country several weeks ago of a serum to induce immunity to the SARS-CoV-2 pathogen in humans did not automatically make violating distancing and mask regulations irrelevant.

Residents of this coastal city and numerous other locales in Israel voiced their shock and dismay Wednesday when a reporter observed the phenomenon of people abandoning the behaviors that have to some degree suppressed spread of COVID over the last ten months simply because a planeload or two of vaccines has come to the country and its administration begun.

“What do you mean I still have to wear a mask?” demanded Maggia Lee, 30, of this city’s upscale Ramat Aviv neighborhood. “The vaccine is here. Coronavirus will be gone in no time. Telling me to keep distancing is just another right-wing attempt to curtail democracy.”

“Come back and tell me that after you’ve got a degree in epidemiology,” scoffed Tel Aviv University sociology student Hedda Pmiass, dismissing statements by clinical epidemiologists and the Ministry of Health. “The vaccine is here, and that’s the important thing. I have important things to do, such as attend protests against Bibi mishandling the pandemic, and it’s pointless to stop me from yelling at the top of my lungs in the immediate vicinity of up to dozens of other people at a time.”

Confusion over the implications of the arrival of the Pfizer vaccine, which has already been administered in part to nearly one in five Israelis, extends far beyond affluent, liberal circles. “The vaccine means we can continue ignoring distancing guidelines as ever before,” explained Belzer Hasid Ariel Sonovavitch. “You think we’ve been refraining from attending the Rebbe’s tisch every Friday night, or not going to two-thousand-guest weddings held mostly indoors? Nonsense. And now that the public health system is really getting itself into gear with the immunization drive, we can safely maintain our previous modus operandi.”

“As long as the government continues to do nothing substantive to curtail mass Haredi violations of the regulations, we’re good,” surmised Beitar Illit resident Sofer Sogutt. “At this point, probably the only thing that might make us change our approach to this and other pubic interest issues would be if, as a result of the upcoming elections, a coalition takes shape that doesn’t include our parties, a development that might force us not to rely on billions in taxpayer shekels to fund our welfare-income-dependent lifestyle. But since violent riots always work for Arabs, we expect them to work for us, too, if push comes to shove.”

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