Rajoub Threatens To Pull Palestine Olympic Team Unless Allowed To Bomb Israeli Team

“I have a responsibility to ensure my athletes have a chance to compete, but they also have their pride.”

Tokyo, July 26 – The head of the Palestinian Olympic Committee upped the ante on demands of the organizers of this year’s Summer Olympiad, warning that his delegation of athletes will withdraw from and boycott the once-every-four-years contest if a participant born in Israel is not permitted to list his country of origin as “Palestine,” but that the International Olympic Committee must permit his delegation to perpetrate terrorism against the Israeli athletes, in keeping with Palestinian Olympic tradition.

Jibril Rajoub, the Palestinian Minister of Sport – and holder of the rank of Lieutenant General in the Palestinian preventive Security Forces – threatened Sunday to pull the “State of Palestine” Olympic team from the Tokyo events if a member of his delegation born in Jerusalem – and who therefore bears an Israeli identification card – is not permitted to list his birthplace as “Palestine.” He further demanded Monday that the athletes and their ancillary staff under his aegis be permitted to bomb, shoot, kidnap, mutilate, or otherwise terrorize their counterparts from the Israeli delegation, or else Palestine will boycott the 2021 Olympics.

“Our demands are as clear as they are just,” pronounced Rajoub at a press conference. “The Committee has twenty-four hours to decide; absent the public announcement of a decision on the Committee’s part, we will pack up and leave.”

Rajoub explained that his five athletes already feel aggrieved that they must acknowledge the reality of Israeli sovereignty in Jerusalem and elsewhere; but then, following the opening ceremonies, an official ceremony commemorated a Palestinian terrorist attack on the Israeli athletes at the 1972 Summer Olympics in Munich that resulted in the torture, mutilation, and murder of 11 Israelis. Such a display of recognizing Israeli humanity constituted the last straw for the Palestinian delegation to Tokyo, and they insisted their sensibilities also be accommodated, or they will leave.

“I have a responsibility to ensure my athletes have a chance to compete, but they also have their pride,” he noted. “We will not compromise our dignity for foreign, imperialist ideas such as ‘sportsmanship,’ ‘the love of the game,’ or ‘admitting our enemy is human.’ Such ideals are for others, and forcing them upon us is colonialist oppression. It’s probably also a few other buzzwords, but I am a very busy man and do not have time to look up the relevance of such current terms as ‘TERF,’ ‘CRT,’ or ‘white-adjacent.’ I do know I will boycott anything that accommodates Israel.”

The press conference was interrupted by a crew member of Rajoub’s private charter jet asking what flavor of Israeli ice cream he prefers for dessert on his flight home.

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