Scarecrow’s Brain, Tin Man’s Heart Harvested From Palestinians

As evidence, the commission pointed to statements in Palestinian media to the effect that innocent Palestinians are routinely kidnapped and murdered by Israel.

Computer projection of suspects’ appearances to account for aging.

Emerald City, January 23 – An investigative commission has found that the transplanted organs given to two prominent citizens of Oz were illicitly removed from Palestinian patients by Israeli occupation forces.

A team of investigators looking into the affairs of the newly-appointed regents of the kingdom has discovered that before he departed in his floating balloon contraption, the mysterious Wizard of Oz transplanted a brain and heart, respectively, into the Scarecrow and Tin Woodsman, that came from Palestinians imprisoned or hospitalized in Israeli facilities. The commission called on the International Criminal Court to issue a warrant for the wizard’s arrest, and is exploring the ways in which a subpoena for Dorothy Gale might also be elicited from the authorities.

The Scarecrow and Tin Man were awarded the organs following respective displays of cunning and love that the Wizard declared made them worthy of receiving them. According to the investigators, however, the specific brain installed in the Scarecrow was illegally removed from a Palestinian teenager kidnapped by Occupation Forces last December, and the heart implanted in the Tin Man came from the body of a Palestinian who was shot while attempting to stab an Israeli border policeman.

As evidence, the commission pointed to statements in Palestinian media to the effect that innocent Palestinians are routinely kidnapped and murdered by Israel, in addition to the rampant summary execution of Palestinians that the IDF perpetrates daily, according to the same media. Investigators noted that international organizations investigating such allegations against Israel customarily take those accusations at face value, and decided to adopt the same approach in this inquiry.

“As our colleagues in the human rights movement BDS are fond of explaining, you have to start somewhere,” observed Chief Investigator Elphaba Schabas. “Our starting point differs from theirs, of course; whereas they begin with Israel as the target of their movement’s animus, we begin with Israel as axiomatically guilty. This modus operandi follows a rich tradition among international organizations, to whom we owe a debt of gratitude for blazing this trail. If not for them, who would have upheld the ancient practice of making Jewish guilt the starting point and ending point of every troublesome issue?”

As further evidence the investigators also adduced the fact that the names of Goldwyn and Mayer, who were named as persons of interest in the case, are Jewish, as is Yip Harburg, who faces charges of incitement for introducing the phrase, “Ding-dong, the witch is dead.”

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