Scientists Create Quantum-Size Violin To Play For Palestinians

While once upon a time the Palestinian predicament elicited genuine sympathy, their leadership and allies have consistently opted for policies and rhetoric that damn the Palestinians to continued misery.

Rehovot, November 2 – Researchers at the Weizmann Institute of Science have succeeded in generating the smallest-ever violin to play in acknowledgment of the Palestinian plight, a spokesman for the Institute announced today.

Professor of Particle Physics Itzhak Perlman told journalists at Weizmann Thursday morning that a team under his leadership had caused subatomic particles to form the shape of a string instrument and bow, and succeeded in manipulating the two formations to create friction that produced sound. The quantum violin, as they have termed it, will play in solidarity with the Palestinians, whose decades of self-inflicted suffering and poor decisions command sympathy only insofar as others can exploit the situation for their own advantage. While once upon a time the Palestinian predicament elicited genuine sympathy, their leadership and allies have consistently opted for policies and rhetoric that damn the Palestinians to continued misery.

“It’s just a fraction of a nanometer in length,” noted Perlman. “Essentially, we put together a number of subatomic particles and arranged them to make a rudimentary instrument. The sounds it makes can’t properly be called music, since at that scale the wavelengths of sound are all but meaningless, just as the Palestinians could not properly be called a nation, but in both cases, the symbolism is what’s important.”

Indeed, concurred Pinkas Zuckerman of Brookhaven National Laboratories on Long Island, who was not involved in the research, symbolism tends to carry more weight in the Palestinian arena than substance. “One of the dysfunctions of the society we’re talking about is its deep sense of shame at not being part of a successful genocide of Jews in 1948, or 1967,” he observed. “Such shame could, under other circumstances, be removed by removing the Jews, who represent that shame, but since that endeavor has only brought more shame after repeated failures and the consequent disasters for Palestinians those efforts wrought, they’ve had to settle for a pettier level on which to operate.”

“Terrorism, for example, can’t hope to drive out millions of Jews,” he continued, “but each time a Palestinian stabs, runs over, blows up, shoots, or otherwise harms a Jew, that’s viewed as a source of redemption or pride, because of the symbolism. The most appropriate way to recognize that symbolic dynamic, then, is the world’s smallest violin ‘playing’ symbolic ‘music.'”

“Perhaps they can adopt this music as a national anthem,” he suggested. “But more likely they’ll politicize and weaponize it.”

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