Speak At Your University? But I Haven’t Killed Any Jews Or Cops

By Radi Qal, Activist

Dear Sirs/Mesdames:

I have received your letter inviting me to speak at your institution. Thank you. I feel honored to be considered for such an event. But before I give my formal response, I seek to clarify the terms and assumptions under which this invitation was proffered, to determine whether it was issued with correct information in mind. Are you aware that I have never killed a Jew or a law enforcement official? That being the case, I fear it inappropriate for me to address your student body.

Please understand that if you already knew of this salient fact and issued the invitation anyway, I withdraw these objections. You may of course invite whomever you see fit. But in the event that my record was unclear on the matter when the decision to invite was made, I must emphasize that at no time, under no circumstances, have my actions, to my knowledge, resulted directly in the death of a single Jew or police officer. You have been so advised.

This fact in no way contradicts the sentiments that might lead a person to contribute to the deaths of Jews or law enforcement personnel. I wish to underline as well that while I have never knowingly caused the death of such people, neither have I made statements opposing such eventualities. My expertise lies in fields that have only tangential bearing on Jews or the police, or at least no more bearing on them than on anymore else, such that I have never been called upon to issue such statements.

If in fact this esteemed group insists I come to address an audience at the university in spite of my never having killed a Jew or police officer, I shall still be privileged to do so. However, I would appreciate clarification on the matter of content: am I being requested to address in direct terms the killing of Jews or law enforcement personnel during my talk? I wish to make adequate preparations for the address, and to have at my disposal the relevant information in order to provide a meaningful and correct response to the invitation.

In addition, I would request some more detail regarding the possible presence of dissenting opinions somewhere on campus. While in my field it remains unlikely that demonstrators, vocal or otherwise, will gather to protest my talk, I must confess my concern that the institution might therefore treat with laxity the notion of allowing such people to set foot near hearing range of a speaker with progressive opinions. I respectfully request that your institution maintain its policy of distancing or suppressing dissent from progressive personalities or ideas in all cases, and then I can more reliably weight whether to accept the invitation.

I look forward to your reply.

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