Strike Of Jaffa Port Workers Delays Jonah’s Departure

In the end, Jonah was forced to lay out the cost of an entire boat and crew.

Jaffa, November 14 – A man of God attempting to avoid fulfillment of a divine mission he was given encountered trouble this morning upon arriving at the port only to discover that the labor unions had shut down the facility, temporarily stymieing his quest to flee.

Jonah the son of Amittai the prophet arrived at Jaffa this morning intent on sailing northwest to faraway Tarshish, instead of to Nineveh to the northeast, as commanded by the LORD. To his dismay, the seer found the port devoid of workers, who had assembled outside in a picket line to demand a raise.

He nevertheless managed to find freelance workers and crew to handle his travel arrangements, but only at substantial cost and effort. In the end, Jonah was forced to lay out the cost of an entire boat and crew, since none of the relevant personnel at the port were willing to cross the picket line and violate the labor stoppage.

“Well, that’s done,” grumbled a distraught Jonah, his boat finally underway. “Somebody ought to do something about the inconvenience those people cause. It’s not right, forcing the whole economy to a halt because they think they deserve more. Where does this sense of entitlement come from?” He noted that he was supposed to be on his way to the Assyrian capital to warn them of the city’s imminent destruction for a similar disregard for others.

“I’m only running away because I know Assyria is going to make my people suffer down the line, and my people haven’t been the best at treating one another well, as you may have noticed,” he continued. “It’s not something than can easily be forgiven – if anything ever should, come to think of it. You just have to face cold, hard facts, and some cold, hard facts are that you screwed up and must face the consequences.”

“Nobody told those workers to become stevedores, you know?” the prophet went on. “You make your choices and you live with them. Don’t go looking for some special dispensation tailored to you and your needs. The system isn’t very flexible – and it would be even less so if I had my way. It’s stupid to expect a higher authority to suddenly violate precedent and alter reality just to suit you, or you and your colleagues.”

Port workers were still talking about the worried-looking man who was so desperate to sail that he could not wait for the strike to resolve. “I wasn’t about to argue with him,” recalled a dock foreman. “The man wants to go to Tarshish, fine. He must be running from something pretty serious. I wish I could take anything as seriously as that – I mean, aside from my standard of living. Can’t compromise that. That would be like sailing right into a storm.”

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