Study: Attacks On Jews Need ‘Context;’ Jewish Misdeeds Need None

The Konfirmation: Israelites Kommit Evil (KIKE) principle.

Tel Aviv, February 4 – A survey of media principles covering violence between Jews and non-Jews revealed an underlying mechanism that offers a scientific explanation for the way journalists report on it, researchers disclosed today: stories about Jews suffering violence from non-Jews, especially Muslim Arabs, can only exist with mention of factors that drove the perpetrator to said violence, whereas reports of a Jew or Jews committing violence or engaging in behavior that endangers others can exist independent of any such ancillary information.

Writing in the journal Judenhaas, a group of journalists and sociologists documented hundreds of instances of the phenomenon over the last several decades, and offered a hypothesis to explain it that has so far held up to repeated testing: non-Jews, being complex creatures with numerous, conflicting emotions, considerations, and impulses, attract explanatory, mitigating context; whereas Jews, being inherently corrupt, selfish, and [to the editor: insert whatever evil current sensibilities deem the most heinous of all – EZ], commit atrocities great and small as easily as they breathe, and therefore repel what for other people would serve as factors that decrease the absolute heinousness of the act – but that, for the Jew, merely serves to highlight the evil manifest in the act itself.

Researchers observed the phenomenon and tested the hypothesis across multiple reporting environments, in both individual Jewish cases and in cases of Jewish groups, institutions, and collective entities, the latter category principally consisting of the State of Israel. They report that the Konfirmation: Israelites Kommit Evil (KIKE) principle, as they call it, explains each case.

“The KIKE principle provides a parsimonious mechanism for a long-observed phenomenon,” the authors write. “Using KIKE, one arrives at a unifying explanation for the contrast between Palestinian attacks on Israeli Jews and Israeli self-defense actions; between coverage of COVID affecting most minority populations and its impact on visibly-observant Jews in, for example, Brooklyn; between deadly suppression of violent riots by police that NGOs insist received Israeli training and attacks on visibly-Jewish New Yorkers, whom reporters feel compelled to describe as being, or at least standing in, in the mind of the attackers, for exploitative Jewish landlords; and numerous other contrasting instances.”

“More broadly, this explanation works for the way every incident between Israeli forces and Palestinian or other ‘Resistance’ factions is documented in mainstream records,” the article observed. “Israeli bombing and ground offensives to suppress rocket fire from Gaza or Lebanon is perforce barbaric, excessive, and criminal, whereas Arabs have no choice but to try to kill Jews by whatever means possible, instead of investing in civilian infrastructure, jobs, economic development, or other non-violent interests, because Jews.”

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