Many of the important discoveries or developments of that last several hundred years have ended up saving the lives of those who, because of their moronic behavior, would have died, had their boneheaded acts occurred earlier in history.
Tel Aviv, April 3 – Scientists conducting comparative research into the relative intelligence of human beings have concluded that people living in the current decade of the twenty-first century have achieved a level of imbecility not known to have existed at any time since the emergence of anatomically modern humans 50-100,000 years ago, a new paper reveals.
A team of Tel Aviv University anthropologists collected and analyzed evidence relating to the mental acuity of humans throughout the species’ history, examining archaeological, literary, and other phenomena, and after four years determined that people are stupider now than ever before. The results of the study will appear in the forthcoming issue of the journal Nature.
Lead researcher Professor Dar Winian stated in an interview that not only are humans as stupid as they have ever been, the trend toward greater stupidity has accelerated in recent decades. “There are correlations with numerous developments in human culture,” he noted. “The introduction of television, the internet, and other media occur in concert with new plateaus in human thick-headedness, such that large numbers of people engage in idiotic behaviors that people only a few years earlier would never consider.”
Professor Winian observed that perversely, the very advancements of our species in the sciences and in other areas of achievement have opened the door to unprecedented doltitude as well. “Many of the important discoveries or developments of that last several hundred years have ended up saving the lives of those who, because of their moronic behavior, would have died, had their boneheaded acts occurred earlier in history,” he explained. “Penicillin, CPR, high-speed communication technologies, transportation innovation, and other developments kept alive dimwits who otherwise would have removed themselves from the gene pool. Those fatheads then reproduce, contributing to an exponential increase in general asininity that gets multiplied further as the stupids find one another and breed.”
Increases in overall prosperity have also contributed, the article notes. “As abject poverty has shrunk over the last fifty years around the globe, more people have access to objects and activities that once were the sole province of the wealthy,” the article notes. “That means more and more people have the chance to do stupid things to which they would never have had access under the economic conditions that prevailed for most of the previous tens of thousands of years. As a result, the ‘hold-my-beer-and-watch-this’ and ‘let’s binge-watch-the-Real-Housewives-of-New-Jersey’ demographics, for example, have swelled, with consequences that anyone of moderate intelligence could have predicted.”
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