Study Links UK Labor Antisemitism With Days Ending In Y

Experts warned that correlation does not imply causation.

London, May 11 – An analysis of the scale and drivers of antisemitism in Britain’s Labor Party has found a statistically significant correlation between the phenomenon and days ending in the letter y, researchers have confirmed.

Researchers at the Institute for Demographic Investigation of Objectionable Topics (IDIOT) looking at the prevalence of, and contributing factors to, hate for Jews among members of the country’s center-left party found what they are calling a stunning overlap of days of the week ending in the letter y and manifestations of that hate in public. The results of the study are available in the newest edition of the IDIOT monthly journal, due out in June.

For the study, IDIOT researchers conducted a meta-analysis of existing surveys that looked at prejudice in the ranks of Labor, and looked for common threads. While some correlation exists between increased levels of Muslim membership in the party and antisemitism, the researchers found that correlation to be weak compared to the link between the specific prejudice and days ending in y – a one hundred percent correlation, said lead researcher C. DeForrest Forthtrys.

“It’s rare in statistical studies that anything achieves a correlation of one hundred percent,” said Forthtrys. “That makes it all the more remarkable, because this is not new information. It could have been observed much earlier, and calls into question the judgment and perception of all previous antisemitism studies.”

Experts not involved in the study offered cautious praise. “It takes courage to look at things in new ways, especially hot-button topics such as this one,” said Abe Foxman of the Anti-Defamation League, an organization that monitors antisemitism and other forms of discrimination. “This IDIOT observation should prove invaluable in tackling the roots and persistence of the oldest of hatred in our society.”

Forthtrys warned that correlation does not imply causation. “It might be tempting to say that reducing the number of days ending in y will automatically reduce antisemitism, but that’s jumping to conclusions,” he cautioned. “The opposite might be the case, or there might be some as-yet-unidentified third factor at the root of both.”

A spokesman for Labor Party Chairman and Opposition Leader MP Jeremy Corbyn, who has so far taken what critics call a tepid reaction to antisemitism in his party, declined to divulge specific steps Mr. Corbyn might take to combat antisemitism in light of this new information, but did point out that his first name also ends in y.

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