Stymied In Real World, Palestinians Hoping To Stop Move Of Pretend Countries’ Embassies To Jerusalem

Commentators noted that in the real world, Palestinian efforts rely consistently on the implied or explicit threat of violence, but that the places now targeted in this diplomatic offensive lie beyond the reach of such tactics.

Credit: Softeis via Wikimedia Commons

Ramallah, May 1 – Incipient moves to transfer international embassies to Israel from Tel Aviv to the country’s declared capital threaten to grow from a trickle to a torrent despite intense lobbying and threats by Palestinians officials, leading them to concentrate their diplomatic efforts to prevent further such developments on governments that exist in the safer realm of the make-believe, where Palestinians have shown renowned prowess.

First the United States, then Guatemala, and then other nations stated their intentions to transfer their embassies in recognition of Jerusalem as the capital of the Jewish State, against Palestinian wishes and in defiance of decades of international opinion regarding the status of the holy city. Troubled by their sudden impotence to forestall the anticipated wave of embassy moves, Palestinian diplomats and officials now seek to shore up their position to ensure that countries such as Molvania, Elbonia, Oz, Freedonia, Vulgaria, Mordor, Atlantis, Narnia, Never-Never Land, Florin, Guilder, Eternia, Xanth, and other places that exist only in the literary, cinematic, or metaphorical universes do not follow suit, reasoning that given emerging trends, their efforts stand a better chance of success in the pretend realm than in physical reality.

“We have already dispatched high-level delegations to numerous such places,” disclosed Saeb Erekat, a senior Fatah official who once led the team negotiating peace with Israel but now devotes his time to receiving advanced medical care in Israel and the US while bad-mouthing those countries. “I am pleased to report that we have received reliable assurances from Vulgaria, Freedonia, Xanth, Atlantis, Mordor, and Elbonia that they will never jeopardize a peaceful, just resolution of the conflict and of the occupation by recognizing baseless Israeli claims to Al-Quds,” referring to the city by its Arabic moniker.

Erekat declined to specify what other imaginary locales have been approached with such lobbying efforts, as well as what pressure the Palestinians might be able to bring to bear on those countries. Commentators noted that in the real world, Palestinian efforts rely consistently on the implied or explicit threat of violence, but that the places now targeted in this diplomatic offensive lie beyond the reach of such tactics.

“I suppose they could appeal to Prince Humperdinck’s sense of historical justice,” suggested Tyrone Rugen, an observer of political developments in the Florin-Guilder region. “But that argument has its limits, as it fails to appreciate the realpolitik that characterizes international relations of this sort. Perhaps the Palestinians can offer money – all that they have and more, if you will – but there’s only so much they can provide, and the prince is unlikely to find such an offer in his interest.”

“It’s weird,” he added. “You’d think they’d navigate this terrain well, considering they’re also a pretend nation.”

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