Success Of Israel Prompts Suspicions That Allah A Zionist

“As an intellectual exercise, if nothing else, let us consider the implications of this idea.”

Cairo, March 1 – Scholars at the Islamic University of Cairo have raised the possibility that Allah, the all-powerful deity who created and sustains the world, supports the national liberation movement of the Jewish people, given the rapid and increasing success the Jewish State has enjoyed since its creation in 1948.

A small group of senior figures at the institution invoked the idea this week at a closed symposium aimed at grappling with problematic issues in Islamic thought. Chief among the concerns of the assembled scholars was the challenge of assimilating the dramatic rebirth of Jewish sovereignty in the Holy Land, which had been under the dominion of Islam for most of the last 1,400 years. Despite the nobility, sanctity, and righteousness of Israel’s opponents, the Jewish State has only grown stronger and economically powerful. Since Islam’s proof of its own divine sanction rests on its initial period of rapid expansion and conquest, Israel’s feat of fighting off Muslims and eventually capturing even more territory from them, followed by its emergence as an economic powerhouse, have several authorities on the will of Allah wondering whether the all-wise and omnipotent Creator is also a Zionist.

“The notion is a painful one,” admitted Imam Muhammad Wazfagli. “But Islam has always been about submitting to the will of Allah. If the evidence becomes overwhelming that the will of Allah involves Jewish ascendancy in this part of the world, who are we to oppose it? This is a radical application of traditional principles, but we must confront it.”

Most of the other attendees disputed Wazfagli’s assertion, but two others of the eleven scholars present came to his defense. “We have to be able to separate our sense of self-worth and identity from our faith,” counseled Abu Bakr Daffuq. “I am still Abu Bakr Dafuq if I change my mind about something. As an intellectual exercise, if nothing else, let us consider the implications of this idea.”

Opponents were not placated. “You are proposing heresy!” thundered Ammad Azahatter. “I mean, yes, the Quran itself records Muhammad as declaring the Holy Land is for the Jews, but how dare you question our blind adherence to politically-driven rhetoric aimed at maintaining the Jews as an external enemy so as to deflect attention from the failings of our own leaders and decisions? Have you no sense of tradition? Of tribal loyalty trumping all other considerations? Of losing your government-approved job for straying from the party line?”

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