Syrian Health Ministry: COVID Eliminated In Bombed-Out Areas

“Delta, lambda, whatever,” he pronounced with a wave of his hand. “Our robust strategy is more than a match for this virus.”

Credit: Qasioun News Agency

Idlib, July 27 – Testing for coronavirus in an area contested by the Syrian Arab Army and insurgents has determined that the pathogen has ceased to pose a threat in places that the Assadist forces have subjected to aerial assault and artillery shelling sufficient to kill any humans in those places, Ministry of Health officials announced today.

Syrian Minister of Health Bitr Pil boasted at a press conference today with regime-run media that the government’s aggressive policy has resulted in the elimination of COVID from every location subjected to intense bombing and shelling, an achievement that virtually no other country has managed.

“Syria is now in the vanguard of states implementing a COVID-mitigation strategy,” he declared. “The outcomes we have achieved demonstrate that a vaccination policy forms only one possible angle of attack, so to speak, to contain and negate the spread of the SARS-CoV-2 virus, in all its variants.”

Pil noted that among the advantages the Syrian approach offers, the emergence of more virulent variants has made no appreciable difference in the effectiveness of the Syrian policy.

“Delta, lambda, whatever,” he pronounced with a wave of his hand. “Our robust strategy is more than a match for this virus.”

Other Syrian officials offered some credit to allied regimes for assistance in the implementation of the policy. “The truth is we couldn’t have done this without significant help from Iran and Russia,” acknowledged a regional health official. “Our own immunization efforts have made less progress than we would want, so this assistance along a different mitigation axis has been most welcome. I’m not sure I want to imagine an alternative in which all those potential spreaders were still around to threaten the rest of the citizenry.”

International experts noted an important difference between the Syrian approach and that of most other governments. “The primary method we have seen in most places involves reducing opportunities for infected subjects to gain prolonged proximity to one another,” explained WHO representative Jenn O’Seid. “That usually takes the form of lockdown-type restrictions and related public-health protocols. But Syria has taken a different tack: eliminate the carriers or potential carriers, thus avoiding the challenging prospect of enforcing distancing regulations, especially considering the known hostility of the Idlib-region residents to Damascus-based health initiatives. I know that, for example, China will be taking a close look at the Syrian achievements in this regard. Probably Iran as well, with some curious eyes and ears over in Venezuela and Cuba.”

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