Teen Shocked To Discover Jewish Law Still Applies On Weekends, Vacation

He either remains unaware, or refuses to accept, that the provisions of Jewish law make no distinction.

Jerusalem, September 5 – A local adolescent expressed anger and confusion today following yet another admonition from his parents that the requirement to engage in specific ritual and spiritual activities at certain times does not disappear when school is not in session, such as during the summer.

Eitan Sosnowitz, 17, responded with disbelief and a sense of betrayal to yet another reminder that God expects him to engage in the recitation of the daily “Sh’ma” affirmation by the time the first three twelfths of sunlight have elapsed, and the remainder of the daily morning service by the fourth. Sosnowitz, about to enter his senior year of high school, still holds the assumption that such things only matter when a teacher is standing over him, and reacts negatively when anyone mentions that the obligations exist independent of any educational framework, and regardless of how late one stayed awake the night before.

“I only got to sleep at three in the morning!” he whined when his mother nudged him awake just before eight A.M. today. “It’s summer! I don’t have to get up for anything!” His contention indicated that he either remains unaware, or refuses to accept, that the provisions of Jewish law make no distinction between days on which one’s academic grade depends on attendance at morning services, and days when such attendance is unenforced by such means.

“It’s not fair!” continued Sosnowitz. “I bet my friends get to sleep late!” The latter assertion further indicated that the teen erroneously believes that one’s obligations apply only relative to the dedication of one’s peers to the fulfillment of those and other obligations. It also contained a factual error, in that at least half of the peers to whom he referred do, with some consistency and less whining, get up in time to attend communal services at a nearby synagogue.

“Summer is free time,” he declared, as if by earnest pronouncement he could will away the necessity for thrice-daily liturgical meditation to enhance one’s relationship with the divine and sharpen the sense of human moral responsibility for all elements of creation.

The adolescent has expressed similar, if less vehement, exasperation at the expectation that he also recite the afternoon and evening prayers, presumably, analysts, say, because those do not entail waking up to do so, and take far less time than the morning liturgy – on most days, the latter requires 30-40 minutes; the former, no more than 15 or 20 – shorter if one finds the right quorum of men.

Observers also note Sosnowitz’s parallel summertime and weekend abstention from Torah learning.

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