The True Meaning Of Christmas Is To Make It About Palestinians

The true meaning of Christmas is not to look too carefully at the facile analogies of Palestine activists.

Bethlehem, December 23 – Most of the Christian world heads into the Festival of the Nativity this weekend. We residents of the city where Christ was born, Christian and non-Christian alike, relish this opportunity to remind everyone that the proper observance of the holiday, and the one that produces true spiritual fulfillment, requires centering the sacred rhetoric, liturgy, and good works of the season around Palestine.

Far be it from me to insist on the simplistic and risible assertions we encounter each year at this time, that “Jesus was Palestinian.” Of course he was, but that opens up the thorny point that Palestinians killed Jesus. We avoid such complications by instead indulging in parallels between restrictions on modern Palestinians and the suffering of the Christ-child and his human family. The wicked Herod sought to prevent the prophesied birth of the Messiah, and was thwarted! So, too, good Christians will work to thwart the machinations of the Herod-like Zionist enemy that seeks to prevent Palestinian nationhood from becoming. As for the implication that there was a Jewish kingdom here at the time, long before 1948, just gloss over it.

How else to celebrate the birth of hope for an otherwise-damned world than by making it about a conflict that could have ended decades ago if Arabs were able to stomach the thought of Jews with actual political power, and not a perpetual dhimmi underclass? Peace on Earth and Goodwill toward Men, indeed. Look how few people can come to the Church of the Nativity! I mean, it’s entirely under Palestinian control, but that doesn’t fit the narrative. Even the authors of the Gospels knew you had to keep revising until you get the most politically-useful narrative, which is why we ended up with four versions of the story. And those are just the canonical ones.

Once, Bethlehem boasted a large Christian population, but that has dwindled. The true meaning of Christmas requires you to dismiss that this population decline has taken place entirely during the time when the town has been under full Palestinian control, so we must do that and instead attribute this tragic state of affairs to “brutal foreign occupation,” a surefire way to generate emotional resonance and solidarity. I don’t care what your Hallmark channel movie claims; the true meaning of Christmas is not to look too carefully at the facile analogies of Palestine activists. From the River to the Holy See, Palestine will be free!

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