This Time Peacekeepers Won’t Rape Anyone, We Promise

By François Hollande, President of France

Soon the United Nations Security Council will consider a French proposal to place international peacekeepers at the Temple Mount/Haram al-Sharif to maintain order and reduce tensions. While opposition to such a move is formidable even among the parties to the conflict, I wish to reassure them and the rest of the international community that this time, the peacekeepers will refrain from sexually assaulting or abusing anyone.

An international presence in that sacred location would defuse some of the root causes of the conflict, namely the rivalry over who gets to control the site. The same approach lay behind the 1947 partition plan, which would have made the entire city of Jerusalem, not merely the Mount, an international city. It is indeed a pity that the two sides never implemented that plan, because in the intervening years UN peacekeepers have performed admirably when not under attack or threat. And the organization has most likely learned its lesson from the sexual abuse cases in Africa, so I do not foresee any serious objections from Israel, Palestine, or Jordan.

After all, the UN is a serious organization that conducts serious reviews of its agencies and fixes problems where they occur. Some organizations have recently focused their attention on UNRWA employees who violate the agency’s mandated neutrality by making posts on social media that call for violence against Israel or deny its right to exist. But the agency’s response – and that of the UN as a whole – actually proves my point: several weeks from now, those Facebook pages, posts, and statuses will no longer be visible, because they have been taken down. UNRWA will continue to encourage its employees to remove such content. We can count on them.

By the same token, reports that any members of this new peacekeeping force have committed some sort of sexual violation will be similarly deleted from the record. UN agencies have proved exceptional at addressing problems in that fashion, and I see no reason not to place in their trust the compound holy to three major faiths.

If trouble does occur, the force can do exactly what UN peacekeepers did in the Golan Heights last year: hightail it into Israeli territory and beg the IDF for protection. Worst comes to worst, the situation goes back to the way it was before the UN got involved, and Palestinians go back to rioting at the thought of letting anyone else set foot near Al Aqsa. Then it won’t be our problem anymore.

Hold on, the ghost of U Thant is texting me…