by Hussein Wiblash, Hamas fighter
Rafah, June 24 – No more suitable image exists to encapsulate this conflict than the one making the rounds back toward the end of last year, showing a unit of Zionist combat personnel posing in disposable adult incontinence garments. Our mighty men will surely steamroll such soft prey! They will run crying for their mommies!
Help! Those weaklings have murdered 40,000 innocent Palestinians and we couldn’t stop them!
Our glorious Islamic victory over the imperialist colonialist Zionist gang that calls itself “Israel” draws closer every day. The incompetence and disorganization that characterized their anemic response for hours and hours on October 7 signals that our decades of sacrifice and hard work are about to pay off. Thy re on the cusp of collapse! Infighting, political machinations – all the hallmarks of an impending failure of the Zionist enterprise, an enterprise so weak that it has only managed to kill forty thousand people in Gaza and still kills dozens per day.
We can all feel the final triumph just over the horizon! I think it’s behind those piles of rubble that used to be an entire neighborhood. No, just to the left of that. Ah, no. That’s just the remains of Biden’s floating pier.
Please, international community, stop the genocide! We are helpless before the, uh, diaper-wearing brigade, I guess?
That sounded better in my head.
Kind of like the pictures of far more numerous Hamas fighters stripped to their undergarments after surrendering to those IDF soldiers, who for some reason had left their diapers at home? I wouldn’t have done that, if I were a diaper-wearing weenie who wanted to run home at the mere thought of an RPG-wielding mujahed. If I were one. I don’t need to run home to Mommy when I have miles and miles of tunnels in which to hide. Take that, you sons of apes and pigs! How dare you mistreat our helpless boys! We’re supposed to do that to you, not the other way around! The other way around is a war crime!
The last nine months have been so confusing. Of course we all support Hamas and the Resistance! Look at how much destruction we’ve invited upon ourselves! Obviously we did that. The diaper-wearing Zionists couldn’t have done that. They don’t have the guts to fight us face to face!
Also that blockade is killing us. We’re all dead of starvation, with more dying everyday. But those Zionists don’t have the guts to follow through on a genocide that obviously has killed billions of us.
Some of us more than once.
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