Trump Foes Bracing For Shift To Calling Pence Hitler Instead

“Hitler had various wholesome habits such as not drinking or smoking, and Pence’s approach to cherishing his marriage the way he does calls to mind the Führer.”

Bethesda, October 6 – US President Donald Trump’s hospitalizaton following his diagnosis as positive for the SARS-CoV-2 pathogen has caused scrambling on the political left to prepare for a scenario in which they must go from comparing him to the most reviled dictator in history, to comparing the current vice president to the same fascist figure, should the VP be called upon to replace the president.

Democrats and so-called “Never Trump” Republicans began their efforts today to smooth a possible transition to calling Mike Pence “Hitler” instead of reserving the moniker only for Trump, one senior Capitol Hill Democrat disclosed today. The veteran legislator, speaking on condition of anonymity, described a flurry of activity in Congressional and party offices and online Slack rooms, aimed at recalibrating the vehement he’s-literally-Hitler rhetoric targeting the current president to fit the caricature of his anticipated successor, should COVID incapacitate Trump.

“Pence is obviously a Nazi also, and that’s a given,” explained the lawmaker, echoing widespread sentiment among her political allies. “I mean, he’s GOP. That’s all that needs to be said. But he doesn’t tweet or speak the way Trump does, so we have to anchor our Hitler analogies in other material.”

“For example,” she continued, “Pence has a personal policy of not meeting alone with women who are not his wife. Back in 2016, I think it was, we and our buddies in the media had a field day with that, calling it anti-women, and accusing him of depriving women of professional advancement opportunities. That outrage burned itself out after few days, as such things do, and we had to find something else with which to fan popular rage. But now we can resurrect it for a nice Hitler analogy. The one that comes to me offhand is that Hitler had various wholesome habits such as not drinking or smoking, and Pence’s approach to cherishing his marriage the way he does calls to mind the Führer.”

One consultant who moves in anti-Trump circles cautioned that jumping headlong into the shift from Trump-is-Hitler to Pence-is-Hitler might confuse voters or undermine the credibility of public figures towing the Nazi analogy line, and that prospect poses dilemma for those pushing the shift. “It would be different if we weren’t so close to the election,” warned Alfred Rosenberg. “But we might not be able to afford miscalculating on the impact of shunting Pence into the Hitler role at this stage. I could turn off crucial undecided voters, or simply cause otherwise Democratic voters not to show up on November third. If this misfires we may have no choice but truly drastic measures such as, I don’t know, burning down the Capitol building or something.”

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