Tubal-Cain Wins Contract To Develop ‘Bronze Dome’ Defense System

Tubal-Cain’s half-brothers Jabal and Jubal also made important advances in their respective fields of animal husbandry and acoustics.

Ur, August 7 – A local metallurgy pioneer has secured an agreement with the government to develop and produce a weapons system to help guard the civilian infrastructure from arrow attack in case of war, government tablets indicate.

In a Freedom of Information Act release from the royal palace, a series of cuneiform records show that the king’s military staff has entered into a series of contracts to enhance the kingdom’s readiness for war. Included in the delineation of agreements is one that engages the services of Tubal-Cain, who was the first to master the process of creating the new alloy, or blend of metals, called bronze.

According to the tablets, Tubal-Cain has committed to supplying the military with a prototype Bronze Dome system battery for testing within eight months, with a guaranteed purchase of at least six batteries over the course of the next four rainy seasons if the system performs as advertised. A Bronze Dome battery’s estimated cost lies somewhere between 800 and 1200 gold pieces, with newer systems reduced as development costs wane.

The details of the system remain classified, owing to their sensitive nature. A spokesman for the palace declined to comment on the technology behind Bronze Dome, saying that such discussions could be exploited by the enemy and probed for weaknesses. “I am afraid I cannot elaborate on anything not explicitly included in the tablets that have been made public,” intoned Deputy Vizier Kaddu.

Tubal-Cain was unavailable for comment, but his father Lemekh and mother Zila expressed pride in their son’s achievement. “Not many people are granted this privilege, and a lucrative one at that,” gushed Lemekh. “I know we have a talented family, but even this exceeded my expectations.”

Zila noted that Tubal-Cain’s half-brothers Jabal and Jubal also made important advances in their respective fields of animal husbandry and acoustics. “We call them Dr. Doolittle and Stradivarius,” she boasted, in a manner that suggested those monikers were meant to convey something the listener would understand.

Lemekh’s other wife Ada, the mother of Jabal and Jubal, attributed the boys’ success to their upbringing. “We run a tight ship here,” she explained. “It’s most likely a function of Lemekh’s sense of having to give back to the world, a sense of carrying the burden of his ancestors.” She added that the family’s fortunes can only help find a good match for Zila’s daughter Naama. “I get the feeling that she wants someone who’s good with his hands, knows how to build, maybe a sense of adventure – and he has to love animals. Lots and lots of animals.”