UN GoFundMe Syria Death Toll Campaign Almost At 300K Goal

“We’re almost at the point where the Council will have enough motivation to take some action, and that’s quite accomplishment.”

Geneva, August 16 – The United Nations Human Rights Council is not ignoring the bloody Syrian conflict, says a representative, even though that impression could be gleaned from the body’s apparent near-exclusive focus on other matters, chiefly Israel. Rather, they explain, the Council is waiting for the statistics to reach their Action Threshold of 300,000 dead.

Council spokeswoman Indi Gogo said the UNHRC is closely watching the mounting death toll in Syria, eager to act once the figure reaches the preset goal for the campaign. “We have been monitoring the casualty figures since the Arab Spring four years ago,” she said. “Not everyone was sure we’d even get this far, but we’re almost at the point where the Council will have enough motivation to take some action, and that’s quite accomplishment.”

Gogo explained that once the threshold of 300,000 dead Syrians is reached sometime next year, the Human Rights Council would finally be able to justify a commission of inquiry. “Our commissions are not generally equipped to examine any actions but those of Israel. The personnel have gotten quite adept at that, and can almost do their work in their sleep. But when it comes to other conflicts, we have to train people what to look for, what the actual Laws of Armed Conflict are, and what constitutes a war crime. It won’t do to have a commission of inquiry just decide outright that one side’s actions raise serious questions while ignoring the other party’s behavior, as is customary with Israel and the Palestinians. Only a serious statistic of 300,000 dead, the Council decided, would justify such an investment.” She urged all parties to the conflict to help the organization reach its goal.

If the conflict continues apace, the Council has established what insiders call a stretch goal – an even more ambitious threshold at which more extensive, more elaborate activities would be deemed justified. In the case of the Syrian Civil War, the Human Rights Council put that figure at 450,000 dead. Once that goal is met – which would happen at current killing rates in early 2017 – the Council might even consider recommending an actual war crimes investigation by the International Criminal Court, and possible action by the Security Council, but that the organization must not get ahead of itself when there are other matters on its plate as well.

“We have our work cut out for us if we’re to keep pace with our average number of condemnations of Israel,” noted Gogo. “It’s one thing to all but ignore Sudan, Libya, Iraq, and much of Sub-Saharan Africa, not to mention Russia, Ukraine, Belarus, China, Myanmar, Thailand, Malaysia, and myriad other places where human rights are barely even a concept; it’s another to actually focus on one country to the near-exclusion of all others and just pile on at the drop of the lamest accusation.” Israel has been the subject of 62 UNHRC resolutions, more than all other countries combined.

At press time, Council delegates were debating under what circumstances their governments would vote Syria onto the panel.