US Envoy To Ramallah Marks End Of Pride Month With Joint Throw-Gays-Off-Roof Ceremony

The staff had to travel to the Tel Aviv Pride Parade several weeks ago to participate in the more familiar, Western methods of celebrating.

Ramallah, June 29 – The Biden administration’s senior representative to the Palestinian Authority spent this morning in the company of his official hosts observing the final workday of the thirty-day span to celebrate non-cis-normative sexualities, the local flavor of which involves binding and blindfolding a person rumored to exhibit such sexuality, taking him or her to the topmost level of a tall building, and pushing him or her over the side.

Hugh Sfulidyit, the White House envoy to Mahmoud Abbas’s government, observed the close of Pride Month in the de facto Palestinian capital by attending a throw-a-gay-man-off-the-roof ceremony, which according to local custom can occur any day of the year, but often waits for special occasions. Three accused homosexuals participated in the vertical portion of the event, as several dozen other participants cheered on the proceedings and offered physical assistance whenever the principal figures in the event appeared to lose heart. The ceremony took place before the end of June because no official or government activity occurs on Fridays under the Islamic sensibilities that govern Palestinian official affairs.

“It’s fascinating to see how international phenomena take on local flavor,” remarked a visibly-moved Sfulidyit. “Going into this job, I wouldn’t even have been able to tell you Palestinians observe Pride at all. I’ve learned so much about Palestinian culture in the three months I’ve been stationed here, and I hope to facilitate American-Palestinian relations on these lines for a long time yet.” Sfulidyit’s appointment extends to November 2023, pending a decision by the Biden diplomatic team whether to move its official delegation to the Palestinians back to Jerusalem to demonstrate a retreat from the previous administration’s acceptance of the entire city as Israel’s capital.

Sfulidyit and his staff intended to display the rainbow flag on their offices, an aide disclosed, until an “escort” from the Palestinian security forces informed them such demonstrations of LGBTQIA+ solidarity deviate from Palestinian custom. The staff had to travel to the Tel Aviv Pride Parade several weeks ago to participate in the more familiar, Western methods of celebrating the demographic and the societal advancement their growing acceptance represents. In the meantime, Palestinians forced a gay entertainer not to perform in Palestinian territory.

The diplomatic team’s experience represents a broader phenomenon in both political and commercial circles, where the values behind Pride become a marketing tool in some societies but an economic and existential liability in other parts of the world, highlighting the divergence between lip service to ostensibly universal human rights and a desire to lick the boots of those who do not recognize some of those rights.

Please support our work through Patreon.