Vegan Groups Denounce McDonald’s Ads As Incitement To Murder

“Have your Bic Mac with a side – with a side of genocide!”

Tel Aviv, July 21 – Advocates for a ban on the consumption of animal flesh criticized the fast-food chain McDonald’s today for encouraging its customers to promote the killing of innocents, and called on law enforcement to arrest and prosecute the executives responsible.

Basar Zeh Retzach (Meat Is Murder) activists picketed several franchises of the international hamburger giant in the Tel Aviv area this morning in protest over the company’s advertisements, which depict the eating of meat products as a positive, enjoyable experience, which they claim thus incites the slaughter of thousands of innocent cattle and chicken.

Placards and chants by the roughly three dozen demonstrators equated meat consumption with murder and called McDonald’s the Angel of Death. Slogans such as, “Drop that burger – meat is murder!” and “Have your Big Mac with a side – with a side of genocide!” graced the signs held aloft by the activists and chanted in call-and-response fashion.

Protest leaders said they specifically chose McDonald’s because of its international visibility and the scale of its contribution to the mass killing of animals. “The industrial-scale murder of these poor creatures is so casual because establishments such as McDonald’s have made its result cheap and appealing,” asserted Tiv Oni, one of the organizers. “It is past time that the police and prosecutors treat these people as the merchants of death that they are.”

“These are crimes against bovinity and avianity,” added Radi Kal. “The international Criminal Court has to step in, because local authorities are doing diddly-squat to bring the perpetrators to justice.” Most of the slaughter of cattle for the Israel market takes place in South America, whereas chicken are raised locally and murdered by the tens of thousands each day in facilities inspected and endorsed by government agencies. Kal expressed hope that the ICC would take action against the crimes on both sides of the ocean.

At one point the protesters tried to block the entrance to a McDonald’s at the Central Bus Station, but the cavernous, oddly-shaped building caused some of the participants to lose their way, and they ended up picketing one of the many boarded-up shops in the facility. Eventually the group reassembled and manage to harass at least two dozen customers before moving on to the next location on their schedule.

Observers and customers appeared annoyed, but otherwise unmoved. “These people should get a life,” spat Patty Seedbun between mouthfuls of McNuggets. “I’m not bothering anyone. I’m just eating my second breakfast. Besides, if God didn’t want us to eat animals, how come they’re made of meat?”