Venezuela Berates Populace For ‘Zionist’ Idea Of Having Enough Food

Law enforcement has had its hands full for years with citizens falling prey to venomous Zionist ideas such as having economic security.

Caracas, July 2 – Spokespeople for the administration of President Nicolás Maduro laced into protesters and the opposition this morning, accusing them of disloyalty for harboring such treasonous, imperialist notions as trying to stave off malnutrition, and called the pursuit of such ends evidence that Zionism has poisoned their minds.

A series of coordinated messages from the presidential palace targeted prominent figures and demands of Venezuela’s restive population, as years of inflation, shortages, corruption, and spiraling violence continue, sparking political turmoil. The messages called the very idea of having enough to eat an “imperialist Zionist” conceit, and warned Venezuelans not to fall into the trap of those who would undermine Bolivarian Democratic Socialist values by appealing to such base instincts as survival.

“Those who claim to want only food will in fact not rest until they have placed Venezuela under Zionist occupation,” charged palace spokesman Silbato Parra Perros. “Traitors have always tried to wrap themselves in the banner of values, but all honest, patriotic Venezuelans will see through their deceitful rhetoric.”

“Food will only lead you down the path of dispossessing others,” cautioned Minister of the Interior Comete Mis Pantalones. “A country that needs food is a country beholden to the interests of the imperialist Zionist manipulators of the world economy.”

Pantalones added that the people of Venezuela should be proud of their empty supermarket shelves, their skyrocketing murder rate, and their political repression. “These phenomena are the hallmarks of a noble society dedicated to opposing the evil that is Zionist colonialism,” he proclaimed.

Venezuelan law enforcement has had its hands full for years with citizens falling prey to venomous Zionist ideas such as having economic security, noted analysts. “Police and national guard troops have had to address numerous cases of mobs looting stores, stealing cattle and butchering it, and hijacking trucks so they could have what to eat,” recalled Déjalos Comer Pastel of the Chavez Institute, a think tank. “The thought that a person needs to eat food can lead to all sorts of dangerous places when food is unavailable. It’s like an addiction. It makes them vulnerable to Zionist propaganda, which of course begets all the violence we’ve been seeing over the last few years. People need to control themselves, and not go chasing after illusory, ultimately treasonous ideas such as food.”

Pastel also expressed the hope that prolonged shortage or absence of food will make the population less accustomed to having it and less likely to feel entitled to it.

Please support our work through Patreon.